(Closed) Thinking of stepping down

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@introvertedgal:  Drop out and cut her out. There is NO reason for you to deal with this and it sounds like your “friend” does not deserve you standing up with her. Seriously, I think its time to move on from this girl and not just her wedding but her life.  

Post # 4
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@introvertedgal:  Seriously you shoudl have been out of the door at lose weight and dye your hair. This women and her friends are the epitome of what is wrong with the world today. Since she cares more about her wedding and its props than she does about you I think you should not only step down but reevaluate your entire friendship with her.

Post # 5
2946 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

She’s being a bad bride.  And her other friend isn’t helping…

That said, is steping down going to solve anything, or is it just going to make for more back stabing comments?  I’m going to guess the second.  It depends on what is more stress for you; Sticking it out and planning to do things, or put up with her being even more of a NSFW going forward.

I would normally suggest a heart to heart, but it sounds like this girl is just going to use anything you say about her against you.  If you stay in, you are going to have to make sure you say nothing about what you don’t like about the wedding to a single soul, as it is going to get back to her. 

Post # 6
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow. The bride sounds like a real treat. If I were you I’d already be out. Understand it may be a friendship-ending move but I think that ship may have sailed. I’d say something to her like “Bridezilla, I have tried hard to be supportive of your wedding and bridal party. However, after Bitchzilla’s comments and your agreement with them about your mother, who, as you know, was very dear to me, I feel I can no longer be a part of the bridal party. The comments were incredibly hurtful and I won’t be treated that way. I wish you you and PoorHusband the best.”

Ugh, I want to slap her for you.


Post # 7
1777 posts
Buzzing bee

@introvertedgal:  I think I’d probably stepdown.  The comments about the mother were out of line. 

I’d know it was wrong, but I’d also probably have a hard time holding my tongue and not throwing a jibe about “too bad bride couldn’t be there with her mother during her illness as much as I was.” 

Post # 8
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

@introvertedgal:  I would not only drop out of the wedding, I’d drop her as a friend as well.  You do not deserve that!

Post # 9
9793 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@antisocialite:  I would cite that and the fact she asked you to lose weight?!?!?!?


On what planet is that okay?


Definitely step down. The friendship is clearly over already. 

Post # 10
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

My ONLY negative thing about the dress comment I could say was that maybe the bride felt that even though you said you’d wear it she still felt hurt and like her style of dress isn’t good enough and in the back of her head wondering “why doesnt she like it… should I change it for her…?” [which is EXACTLY why i’m letting my bridesmaids choose their own!! I want them comfortable!]

HOWEVER that does not at ALL warrant how they’ve treated you. I’m so sorry. Go spend that money you’ve been saving on you, you deserve it more. Take that dress back too and go buy yourself a prettier one. 🙂 

Post # 11
805 posts
Busy bee

@introvertedgal:  Wow. That’s almost unbelievable. You are being way too nice, I think I would’ve bitch-slapped her there and then (particularly after the weight and hair bullshit). If I were you, I’d strongly consider cutting her out of my life (unless she’s your sister…?)

Post # 12
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@introvertedgal:  Are you kidding me? The bride sounds like a real big B. You are doing way more than a normal person would (losing weight, dying your hair is a lot and pretty crazy). Who needs enemies with friends like that?

Post # 13
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would be gone. You’ve been doing your best even after she asked you to lose weight and dye your hair, which honestly would be enough for me to lose my shit. 

she sounds like a terrible person, ganging up on you  with the other bridesmaid. you should not have to put up with any of that Crap and at this point I’d feel uncomfortable being in the wedding partY at all . She does not deserve all your hard work and financial sacrifice. let me tell you, you aren’t a bad friend at all and not disappointing her mom. I think her mom would be disappointed in her for not treating you how you deserve to be treated , with love and respect.



Post # 14
5955 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Dang, that’s really harsh.  This bride and her friends do not sound like nice people.

Is this out of line with their general personalities?  If it is, I’d try to examine what’s going on and see if you aren’t being biased.  (I’m not saying that you are, it’s just hard to tell when you only hear one side of the story. Maybe they think you were really bitching and gossiping behind their backs.)

If this is in line with how they normally act, then I think thse friends are toxic and you should drop out.  

Post # 15
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

You should have been gone after the weight and hair issues.  Stop being a doormat for her.

The only person the bride’s mother would be disappointed in is the bride.  Her behavior is beyond repulsive and nothing to be proud of.

The writing is on the wall.  Drop out and drop her.

Please be strong in the knowledge of how well you cared for her mother and how much her mother loved you.  Those 2 are playing mind games, selfishly, in the mother’s name and that is reprehensible.

You have been a good friend.  Now, you need to stop letting her treat you like this and walk away.

Post # 16
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@introvertedgal:  The bride and her bridesmaid sound like total bullies. Seriously, that is high school behaviour! I honestly think you should drop out. It’s not worth it – she has taken the whole demanding bride thing to another level!

Drop out and save yourself the unneccesary hurt. Bridesmaids are not the brides show thing, they are there to enjoy and share in a special moment and she’s totally ruined that already.

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