I found the 9 months I was planning my wedding to be a time filled with a LOT of stress. I felt that I wanted things to be perfect and I felt really inadequate when I compared myself to everything online. I could help it…I compared myself to everyone and everything I saw and in the end, though I loved the support and the sense of community, I feel that all the online info left me feeling sad and pressured to have the perfect day. Because NOTHING can be perfect and someone can always have a “better” wedding….you are just setting yourself up for “failure”.
I have now been married almost 2 years. If I could do things differently, I would. I would have stayed off all those websites. I wish I had known then what I know now.
For me: I regret that I got so sucked in. It took away from the joy of the process. I am not the type of person who is overly crafty, put together, stylish, or knows much about etiquette. But the wedding industry made me feel like I had to be that type of person.
For some people, I think they genuinely enjoy all of this. They already have totally stylish and themed houses. They are crafty and love doing DIY. They are artistic, etc….
But for SO MANY of us…..we feel like we all need to be the same way. Like our weddings will not be “good enough” if we do not have everything perfect.
Now that my wedding is long gone I realize:
No one cares about the favors.
No on used my flip-flop basket
I worked too hard on my invitations. Other than your mom or best friend, no one saves them
I worked too hard on Save-the-dates and was hurt when people didn’t reply that they received them
I wish I didn’t create a website that no one looked at
Many of the tiny details that I stressed SO HARD over ended being a total waste of time. I stressed over nothing.
I wish I had ENJOYED myseld, gotten along with my fiance, instead of being stressed out and crying for 9 months
I wish I knew that the most important part of the day is the FEELING and not all the details.
A wedding was about marrying my wonderful husband but during the process I thought it was about the perfect flowers, pictures, colors, etc.
Your post could have been written by me 2 years ago. As someone who can now speak from the other side, I want you to know that you are not only normal to feel this way….but also SO MUCH of what we are told is necessary for a wedding totally is NOT. Make the wedding a reflection of you and your husband. Most people will not notice all the tiny details that you stress so hard over. So don’t do things because you feel like you need to or it is expected. Do only the things that are truly important to you. This is such a wonderful time in your life and I know I regret so much that I will always look back at my wedding planning as a terribly stressful time that I didn’t enjoy. If I could do it over again…I would have taken a MUCH more relaxed approach. It’s not a day to impress or be “perfect”.
As much as the online community is meant to be positive, it can also have a really negative effect just like you described. Don’t lose yourself in the process.