(Closed) Third day crying…. maybe the internet and these boards not great for me!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

This is a great post…hopefully it’s bumped up throughout the WB’s existence, in order to remind us all what is important….and what is not (DIY hanger, shoot me now…)….

It’s good to know you are not alone in the crying party….and I agree with PP that OP – sweetie, take a week off from the planning and get out and enjoy life for one week….the wedding stuff will still be there (and so will we!)…

Post # 32
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hang in there! I totally agree with you and almost posted something like this last night, but was crying to hard to see the laptop screen! LOL I am 45, not a size 2, paying for entire wedding, and have a future hubby struggling with cancer. There are roofs to fix, medical bills, and 3 jobs and school to attend to. What I like about the boards is some great deals, good ideas (which I may or may not  get to) and support that everyone has a story to tell. Spend less on your wedding, splurge for a romantic honeymoon away for the both of you to reconnect!

Post # 33
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@donnaaries: awesome answer!

I try to stay off of wedding sites except for here because I found myself in a panic since there are so many opinions out there. I bought a ton of bridal magazines when I first got engaged and I have to say, I hated so much of what I saw in there. There is so much pressure to do everything a certain, very expensive way, or else your wedding is just…not good enough. “Be careful what invites you buy – they set the tone for the upcoming day!” “You must get expensive, monogrammed gifts for each person in the bridal party!” “Why not spend $5000 on a dress, even if that is you whole wedding budget? You only get one wedding dress!” “IT’S YOUR DAY! Spend like crazy and act like a princess!!!” “Register here for things your family cannot afford – your marriage will fail unless you have this $1000 crystal vase that goes with nothing else in your home!” “Put together extensive gift/favor bags for your guests so they know that they are a princess like you on your special day!!”

Seriously. It makes me vomit in my mouth. This is why we want to do a destination, and take family only. My Fiance and I are looking forward to the day AFTER the wedding…when we can look at pictures and know that we never have to plan it again. It is so easy to get caught up in this whirlwind and lose sight of what the entire event is to mean – you are marrying a wonderful person to share your life with!

Stay off the internet for a while, and just daydream in your own mind about what you would like your day to be and go from there. Do not worry about things like who has a bigger budget or how the advertisements out there make you feel like a worthless turd because you can’t spend oodles on your wedding. It’s one day of your life. You need to make sure that you are happy all the other days, too.

 

Post # 34
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@nonapkns:

 

I agree. I also agree with this as a mother. There is too much info out there. I have come to these boards for FUN!! I actually scan topics, I don’t read each one, and I pretty much stay away from the DILEMA, DRAMA key words. I like to look at dresses, rings, talk about parties and read the fun stuff. I do admit, I can probablylimit my viewing to once a day, though! Actually being on here has helped me CONCRETE my pre-information wedding ideas. I had everything planned and booked and came on here as a result of my semi-boredom if you will. So it’s been fun and I plan on keeping it that way!! 

Post # 35
Member
7310 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Have you read One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding? I think it helped me put a lot of this stuff into perspective. Like a PP said, weddings are a huge industry designed to guilt you into thinking that you MUST have something inorder to be right/proper/cool/perfect. it’s insidious, really. Oh and the blog A Practical Wedding is also really good for helping me stay grounded. Meg and team have a lot of smart, common sense, cut thru the BS things that keep me in check when wedding craziness starts to take over my thinking.

In short, you’re not alone. It will be okay. And at the end of it all, you will be married.

Post # 37
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

OMG….Why didn’t I find this forum months ago!  I am 90 days out until the big day and I am in tears almost every day over the things I think I “have” to have.  Our budget makes it limited as to what we are able to do as opposed to what we want to do. 

So, I have a love-hate relationship with the Internet with regards to the wedding planning.  I found another outlet to air my frustrations, great ideas for a wedding on a budget but I’ve also found myself getting depressed looking at all the things that I am unable to do financially. 

I wish we just eloped like we planned on doing in the beginning. 

Post # 38
Member
3253 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

The key is that you need to stop comparing. There will always be a wedding that is bigger and more beautiful than yours because some people have endless amounts of money and time to dedicate to their weddings. 

Mine was far from a blog-worthy wedding, but it was mine and that felt wonderful. It may not have been something others would emulate, but every detail in our wedding was so representative of who we are as a couple. 

It’s like comparing yourself to a Barbie all the time. You can be super fit and gorgeous, but you’ll never look just like her. 🙂

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