(Closed) Third time bride! Over 40 and a size 20!

posted 5 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Personally? I think you should go away and do it quietly. A third wedding is a little too repetitious for a wedding where people would (in fact) be getting together again. There is no way for you to escape a “oh here we go again” comment. If you want to avoid it, don’t have a wedding, but be prepared to hear the comments anyway once they find out you’re married.

Post # 4
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Have your big wedding and enjoy!

Post # 5
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do you have children? I would certainly want to include them along with parents and siblings, but I probably wouldn’t make it any bigger than that.

I love these dresses by Nataya:


Aurora Lace by Kiyonna

Kara Lace Dress by swak

Plus Size Kara Lace Dress in White image

Post # 6
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would still have a celebration! no need to sneak away…. you should do whatever you want personally I think this would be an awesome wedding to host at a fun restaurant for your close fam & friends. Still have a great fun night but less stress than a whole big reception type thing

Post # 7
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

What do your friends and family think about it?  I was married for the second time on my 56th birthday, but my family members really wanted to be there.  And the friends I had by then were almost entirely people who hadn’t been in my life for my first wedding at age 23.  But only you can know your own situation.

Post # 8
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think if I found the one -even 3rd time around shouldn’t matter. You are celebrating your love and should be able to share it with who you want. People do not go in wanting to divorce. If you want it, do it. People who comment are being silly because this is not their life choice.

Post # 9
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Louc70:  i was an encore bride.  this is my third wedding as well.  we had an intimate wedding with only 38 close family and friends but i still had the dress, the venue, full sit down meal, dancing, etc.  it was wonderful.

i eloped the first time and had only a cocktail party the next time so i felt like i was missing out.  so this time, i did the whole thing.

i think you should do whatever you feel like doing.  if you want a big party, do it.

Post # 10
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Louc70:  I just married for the 3rd time in January, at 42. this is Darling Husband 2nd marriage. 


We had a hard time keeping the list down because so many of our friends and family were very supportive of this union and wanted (demanded!) to be a part of it! that feels great, to be so loved! And yes, some of these folks were there for all 3 of my weddings! But they love me, understand the intimate reasons why the first 2 marriages ended, supported me thru 7 years of being a single mom of 2, and they were the ones who encouraged me to go out and finally find Mr. Right Forever! 


we had simple ceremony and dinner party at home, followed by an awesome dance and party that lasted until 4:30am the following morning! We included our children in the ceremony and party. It was the best event ever!


I wore white in wedding #1, ivory for #2, and opted for black lace over nude for #3. 


Ultimately, only you and your love can decide what’s best for you…but I’m an example that sometimes, really, THIRD TIMES A CHARM!!! 

Edited to add: Kiyonna.com has an excellent selection of bridal and cocktail dresses for us curvy girls! I opted for the scalloped boudior dress in the black over nude, and it was GORGEOUS! I felt beautiful and confident as a bride! 

Post # 11
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @Louc70:  first and foremost I see you are NEW to WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Comes from my upbringing & career

21st Century thinking will tell you that you can do whatever you please.

Contemporary Etiquette will tell you that YES things have changed drastically in the last 30 years (thank Goodness)

BUT that tends to apply primarily to second-time Brides… no shame in making a mistake any longer (or the fact that someone has ended a Widow)

Two kicks at the can tho is pretty much the allowance for a full-on Wedding Dress, no matter how old one is

(Granny at 80 can definitely wear a WDress if she found love again after Grampa passed away)

Beyond two and decorum would say one should take a more conservative route and skip both a Wedding Dress and any thing that is BRIGHT WHITE (death aside… death seems to trump everything)

So for time number 3 you still have tons of options… long, short, suit, formal, informal, casual … and a rainbow of colours.

Same is true for the type of Wedding.  Number 3 isn’t typically a BIG White Pouffy Family Affair… but that isn’t to say it can’t be a Celebration all the same.  You could take a group to a Destination Wedding, a Cruise Wedding, or just the 2 of you Elope and then come home to a kick-ass Back Home Celebration Party (not so many rules on those).

Ya there are “some rules to navigate” but it isn’t the minefield of Etiquette that it once was.

I myself, at 50+ and Wedding # 2 found the Contemporary Rules a real sigh of relief.  And we worked within them to have an AMAZING WEDDING… no regrets.  Cannot say I missed anything vs the first time round.

The trick is to embrace the NEW YOU and find the stuff that works (ie tons of head & hair stuff you can go with… bands, jewels, pins & clips, fascinators, hats, etc beyond just a veil)

Hope this helps,


Post # 12
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Louc70:  I really wouldnt care what people think

I think you have to right, to do as you please

What do you visualize for yourself? I pick and earn it!!

People are going to talk regardless

Stay true to yourself and wear what YOU DESIRE

Post # 13
2478 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think you’d be fine to do a small, low-key ceremony with close family or super close friends. I don’t think because it’s your third wedding that you can’t have a special celebratory day with your man…its not your third wedding to the same man. But…I wouldn’t make it a huge deal with extended family and all that.

Post # 14
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t really know anything about etiquette. But it would seem to me if you steered clear if the fairy-tale bridal ball gown and went for something a little less bridal, you could have a great wedding! 

My dad’s fourth wedding was really beautiful, actually. They only had their best friends (who introduced them) in bridal party, my dad’s wife wore a silver, floor-length dress, and they got married in their backyard. They had giant tents, and a guest list of 70ish people. We danced, we ate, we drank, and it was wonderful to see my whole family together. 

Admittedly (and i’m being honest just so you know), I have three sisters, most of us from separate marriages. My older sisters did make a comment to us in private, when the wedding was over and we were drinking wine at 2 in the morning after everyone left/went to sleep. Basically they just said they’ve each been in 3 weddings, they aren’t going to be in another one. But that’s probably because it hit us more personally than most of the people there, since we had all been through more than one divorce. I will say, even if others were making comments like that, I didn’t feel it/notice it at ALL throughout the wedding, and the bride and groom seemed so happy. 

By The Way, what about a beautiful ivory/gold tea length gown that’s a-length? Lots of brides wear them, and they tend to look FANTASTIC on curvey girls! Just in case the more modest floor length gowns aren’t doing it for you. 

I’m thinking something like this (I can’t tell you how much I adore this dress, and if you look it up on modcloth, you’ll see lots of GORGEOUS plus sized girls).


Post # 15
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

We not know the circumstances behind the third wedding nor do we know how many times your Fiance has been married. Really none of our business. But since you asked if I was you I would either have an intimate wedding with like 25 friends and family, or elope. PPs are right that you can’t get around the behind your back comments of “here we go again” but once its over not too much will probably be said. A woman I know has been married either 3 or 4 times. Her last time she just eloped. One week no ring, the next week she had a ring on her finger and her last name was changed lol. In fact, I am pretty sure marriage prior to this she eloped as well. 

Post # 16
119 posts
Blushing bee

@Louc70:  have your day with the people you love (anyone who would be bitchy and judgy shouldn’t be invited!). Celebrate your love 🙂

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