(Closed) This bee doesn’t want premarital counseling..

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

May I ask why your Fiance wants to go to pre-marital counseling?

IMO I don’t see why a total stranger who knows absolutely nothing about your relationship will give you the key to a happy marriage.

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Captain013: Why don’t you want counseling?

 

Counseling doesn’t necessarily mean there is a problem, it is just a way to openly communicate.

Post # 5
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I loved our counseling. I would suggest it to anyone.

Post # 6
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I dunno. It depends on why he wants it, and why you don’t.

Post # 7
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Why don’t you want to go? We went because we had to in order to get married at the church. We didn’t mind. We went over a few scriptures and the ceremony. 

Does your FH think you two have problems that you need to work thru? 

Post # 8
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

we did it….but not because we are having problems…but marriage is hard. we wanted the tools to deal with eachother and sitautions when “ish got hard”. We go through our pastor twice a month with other young couple on the journey towards marriage. best thing i learned from our sessions”

“Marriage is Possible With God, But Impossible Without Him” -Pastor Nathaniel Edmonds

Post # 9
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2012

You arent going to be given any keys to a happy marriage, you will be given tools to work with each other when times get tough. The counseling that the SO and I are going to is focusing on working on yourself and make you whole.

 

We just had a session last night and our counselor called me out on my crap. It needed to be brought out. It needed to be said. There are conversations that need to happen before you make the life long commitment. I think it is helpful.

 

Our counselor doesn’t tell us that these are the things you need to do or change in your relationship. She tells us what tools we can use personally to make sure the relationship can work.

 

I say try it and see what you think. It might be better than you thought

Post # 11
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think pre-marital counseling is an important part of preparing to marry.  So many people spend so much time preparing for their wedding and completely forget about preparing for the MARRIAGE.  Going to pre-marital counseling doesn’t mean you have a problem in your relationship… it just means that you want to prepare yourself to handle the issues that come up down the road.  No marriage is without trial and it is so important to be ready to handle them together.

Have you talked to your Fiance about why he wants to go and explained why you don’t want to?  Communicating about it would be my best suggestion…

Post # 12
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Can you explain why you don’t want it? My Fiance and I have been together for 8 years and we are still thinking of doing pre marital counselling. Its just a good way to openly communicate. I don’t feel we have any problems but I don’t want to be that couple that breaks up a year after they get married and wonder what if. 

Post # 13
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Put on your big girl panties and go to counseling with him. Usually when people start talking about counseling, it’s because something isn’t working for them and they’ve exhausted the things that they can think of to try and fix it on their own.

If I knew the person I was with was feeling like that, I’d do everything in my power to work on whatever the issues are with them, even if it meant sucking it up and doing something that I didn’t really think would help or want to do. Because that’s what you do for the people you love–the things you wouldn’t do for anyone else.

ETA: Oh, is this Christian counseling we’re talking about? I don’t know what they do there. But I still think if it’s important to your Fiance, you should give it a try.

Post # 14
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@Captain013: If it’s important to your Fiance, then I think you should atleast try going a couple of times.

Personally, we dont have any plans of going. There isnt any reason in particular, it’s just not something we want to do right now. But I have gone to both personal and family counseling in the past.

Post # 15
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Elvis: 🙂

Pre-Marital Counseling was the best thing for me and my Fiance, i loved every minute of it. And even for the smallest chance that it could bring us closer or make us understand each other better, i think it is worth it to go… its seem like he just cares about your marriage. I think you should just go… whats it going to hurt?

Do you know what is going to be more stressful is after you get married and all the crap that comes at you and now you dont have the tools to work through it….. WORTH IT TO GO and if it is important to him, it should be important to you..

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