Post # 1
But Fiance has mentioned that he wants to have premartial counseling, and I don’t. If anything it seems like men ae the ones who don’t want counseling and women do. Are there any other bee’s out there who didn’t want counseling? Did you end up going or did you do anything instead? Just curious… 🙂
Post # 3
May I ask why your Fiance wants to go to pre-marital counseling?
IMO I don’t see why a total stranger who knows absolutely nothing about your relationship will give you the key to a happy marriage.
Post # 4
@Captain013: Why don’t you want counseling?
Counseling doesn’t necessarily mean there is a problem, it is just a way to openly communicate.
Post # 5
I loved our counseling. I would suggest it to anyone.
Post # 6
I dunno. It depends on why he wants it, and why you don’t.
Post # 7
Why don’t you want to go? We went because we had to in order to get married at the church. We didn’t mind. We went over a few scriptures and the ceremony.
Does your FH think you two have problems that you need to work thru?
Post # 8
we did it….but not because we are having problems…but marriage is hard. we wanted the tools to deal with eachother and sitautions when “ish got hard”. We go through our pastor twice a month with other young couple on the journey towards marriage. best thing i learned from our sessions”
“Marriage is Possible With God, But Impossible Without Him” -Pastor Nathaniel Edmonds
Post # 9
You arent going to be given any keys to a happy marriage, you will be given tools to work with each other when times get tough. The counseling that the SO and I are going to is focusing on working on yourself and make you whole.
We just had a session last night and our counselor called me out on my crap. It needed to be brought out. It needed to be said. There are conversations that need to happen before you make the life long commitment. I think it is helpful.
Our counselor doesn’t tell us that these are the things you need to do or change in your relationship. She tells us what tools we can use personally to make sure the relationship can work.
I say try it and see what you think. It might be better than you thought
Post # 9
He hasn’t given me a reason why presay. I know he is going to bible study and that mya have alot to do with it. I am guessing they have mentioned it to him.
I don’t want to do counseling because 1) for me it would be stressful. I always have told Fiance that he can ask me anything and I will tell him the truth. 2) we live 500 miles away currently. I don’t want my slim and far inbetween time I spend with Fiance to including talking in front of a stranger (or someone we know) about us, or how we feel.
Post # 10
Post # 11
I think pre-marital counseling is an important part of preparing to marry. So many people spend so much time preparing for their wedding and completely forget about preparing for the MARRIAGE. Going to pre-marital counseling doesn’t mean you have a problem in your relationship… it just means that you want to prepare yourself to handle the issues that come up down the road. No marriage is without trial and it is so important to be ready to handle them together.
Have you talked to your Fiance about why he wants to go and explained why you don’t want to? Communicating about it would be my best suggestion…
Post # 12
Can you explain why you don’t want it? My Fiance and I have been together for 8 years and we are still thinking of doing pre marital counselling. Its just a good way to openly communicate. I don’t feel we have any problems but I don’t want to be that couple that breaks up a year after they get married and wonder what if.
Post # 13
Put on your big girl panties and go to counseling with him. Usually when people start talking about counseling, it’s because something isn’t working for them and they’ve exhausted the things that they can think of to try and fix it on their own.
If I knew the person I was with was feeling like that, I’d do everything in my power to work on whatever the issues are with them, even if it meant sucking it up and doing something that I didn’t really think would help or want to do. Because that’s what you do for the people you love–the things you wouldn’t do for anyone else.
ETA: Oh, is this Christian counseling we’re talking about? I don’t know what they do there. But I still think if it’s important to your Fiance, you should give it a try.
Post # 14
@Captain013: If it’s important to your Fiance, then I think you should atleast try going a couple of times.
Personally, we dont have any plans of going. There isnt any reason in particular, it’s just not something we want to do right now. But I have gone to both personal and family counseling in the past.
Post # 15
Pre-Marital Counseling was the best thing for me and my Fiance, i loved every minute of it. And even for the smallest chance that it could bring us closer or make us understand each other better, i think it is worth it to go… its seem like he just cares about your marriage. I think you should just go… whats it going to hurt?
Do you know what is going to be more stressful is after you get married and all the crap that comes at you and now you dont have the tools to work through it….. WORTH IT TO GO and if it is important to him, it should be important to you..