(Closed) This bee is a bit heartbroken today…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think this is understandable! i get that way when it comes to babies! I want one or two and everyone around me is getting pregnant. But your SO will pop the question when the time is right and you will be ecstatic! And if he doesn’t then the right Mr.Right will come along and blow your socks off!

BIG hugs!!

Post # 4
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

I can empathize but, really, she is marrying a man after only two months after she just got divorced? Step back and re-evalute- this is not the time to be envious. This is the time to be a little concerned about your best friend’s decision making abilities. Have a heart to heart with her. If she seems like she is set on this, then decide whether you want to support the marriage. If you do, which you probably should since she is your best friend, then you need to help her plan with a smile on your face. Again, I don’t want to invalidate your feelings, but I think you may need to gain some perspective.

Post # 5
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

That is definitely a hard position.. but I think you may have what I like to call “stinkin thinkin” on it.

You seem like what’s going to be hard about is it that YOU don’t get to be the bride.. plan your wedding, etc since you’re waiting… I know it can be hard but I don’t think that’s the real issue in this situation.

I think that the real issue here is your friend is more than likely acting out of her own broken heart and putting herself in a position to possibly be even more hurt down the road… (divorce takes TIME to heal from, even if you’re the one who left)

Start thinking about your friend and her position.. what she may be acting out of.. and it may help get some perspective on things.

Sorry you’re having to watch that… it’s hard when our friends do things that could be harmful to them

Post # 6
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would actually look at this a different way: Statistically, a marriage between people who rush in like that is very unlikely to be successful. Are you really jealous of that? I wouldn’t want to trade places with her, that’s for sure!!

 

Post # 8
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

Hey you.

It must be difficult. HUGS!

You’re time will come to, you’ll see. And when it does, all this will not be as heavy for you as it is now. Just think about why you are so in waiting for the big proposal.. it’s because you love eachother and all the good bad, and cute stuff.

I just hope your friend does not get hurt, since she recently got divorced.. … :S

Post # 9
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t know how close you are with your friend, and I’m probably not the best model for healthy friendships. That said…

Two months is not enough time. If she were a friend of mine, I’d have a heart-to-heart with her. I’d say, “It’s great that you’re so in love, but why is the engagement so short?” (Doesn’t matter how long the engagement is. If she wants to go look at dresses right this instant, it’s not long enough.)

Post # 10
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

((HUGS))

Post # 12
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

@With Love Whitney:

I don’t know what a divorce feels like, sure. Besides, divorces are tough, but the last thing on my mind would be to get married again that close up.. moving on with life is fine.. my personal opinion is that it is more about the experience and not the age.. have you talked anymore about it?

 

 

Post # 13
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

@With Love Whitney:

I can understand where you are coming from.  I’m going to a bridal show with a friend that just got engaged.  My bf and I were there when our friend proposed.  My heart sank a little bit that day when I wished I could have some of that happiness too. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy for them, but I use them as an example because I get how it can feel when you are still waiting for your proposal.

Be strong.

Post # 14
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

When is she looking to get married?  Not to degrade her situation, but you never know what the future can hold.  Right now I think you just need to be her friend and really tactfully discuss with her… what the hell is going on! Marriage after 2 months is a big decision.  Not saying it never works, but she just got divorced. 

Post # 15
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know how you feel… when I was waiting for my ex to propose, I had to help my very best friend with her wedding. I was her Maid/Matron of Honor and I had a heavy heart… I just never let it show as I wanted it to be about her and so she wouldn’t feel guilty.

Though really, I have to agree with the other bees about 2 months being a bit soon. Especially after a divorce. As her friend I would definetly make sure she was really taking into consideration the fact that she is getting remarried so quick. Though to her, maybe it’s not so quick! lol. I guess I am saying it would be good just to see if she really realizes this is (hopefully) forever, and having been through divorce is she sure she’s ready so quickly?

Post # 15
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

oh my goodness! She’s telling you that she can get married right away because she clearly DOES know how to pick a good man? (umm…yeah. not.)

Point out to her that obviously she DOES need to work on what it takes to know she’s in a good relationship. (For starters, check out the book “How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk.” GREAT title, GREAT BOOK for anyone!)

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