This Christmas I learned just how much I take my SO for granted.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I don’t have any advice. I just wanted to say how good it is you figured this out about eachother, and that you CAN make things ‘right’ before it’s too late! Have a heart to heart with him when he comes home 🙂

Post # 4
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Realizing it is half of the battle.  Will the hours let up any time soon?  If not, you will have to both be mindful in how you interact with each other and schedule time to reconnect and enjoy each other, even if it’s just netflix.

Post # 5
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

jldavivc :  aww sorry fellow bee. would you both be willing to seek professional help? one of the greatest things we did together was having my husband (while we were dating) join my therapy. it helped us a lot in dealing with issues that arise while dating, while moving in together, getting married, knowing how I myself should be more aware of my mental health, and a LOT of significant events we had happen in the past 6 years. it has really helped having a neutral party help us understand each other; she has helped me LOADS in knowing what he needs, and vice versa. 

Post # 8
Member
2471 posts
Buzzing bee

Share in going back to when you met. Plan to do some of the things you did together when your love was new. Write letters (emails) for each other about the day you knew each other was “the one”. 

Write daydreams for the future- when you have your degree, what you’ll do with your precious time together, when you may have reached some of your future milestones and what your life together will be like then.

For yourself, there are some excellent natural therapies that help with depression. Check them out.

NEVER give up on the love you have for each other. Value this separation for the gift of awareness that it has given you. Celebrate it!

Post # 9
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

jldavivc :  totally understand that. My therapist focuses on cognitive therapy, not meds 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

jldavivc :  this is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who focuses on cognitive and many types of therapy (based on one’s needs). There are many therapists (pyschologists, psychiatrists, social workers, marriage and family therapists) that have a wide range of specialties here where I live and they have been great. I like LCSW’s per my experience.

Post # 12
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Try to put the other’s perspective first, easier said than done I know. 

Post # 13
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You said you have dinner together.  Make that brief time really amazing and special!  

Post # 14
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

jldavivc :  My fiance and I also get very busy and get into the whole routing.  But, what’s worked for us is this:

*Give each other a tight, long hug (with kisses) every time you see each other after a long day.

*Tell each other you love and appreciate each other every day.

*Do little things for each other often.

 

Our spark is as brilliant and our love is as sweet as it was in the beginning of our relationship!  

 

Post # 15
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

jldavivc :  Darling Husband and I easily fall into the same rut. He works a normal 8-4 desk job and I work 12 hour overnights with a weekend and holiday roation. I definatelly find myself leaning on him to do way to much sometimes especially when I pick up bonus shifts and I’m just back and forth between work and the bed. I make sure to tell him how much I appreciate him doing laundry/dishes/bringing me Christmas dinner from his family Christmas when I was working etc. I can literally see in his face how happy he is to hear these things. I also try to do nice things for him in return whenever I can, take him out to dinner, go to see some ridiculous movie I don’t care to see, but know he wants to see. Costco date night (it’s his favorite haha). After he brought me dinner I made sure to tell him how the nurses I work with were jealous and couldn’t believe their husbands wouldn’t think to do something like that. He was extremely proud of himself and that I bragged on him to my co-workers. I think making sure he knows how awesome he is and that you DO appreciate everything he does for you is the biggest thing.

I have pretty bad anxiety and since we moved to a new town earlier this year it has gotten drastically worse. I couldn’t find a job in my field or the field I worked in right out of college, so I’m working in a new field and thinking of going back to school etc. Plus planning our “real” wedding (we already did the legal part)…My anxiety is constantly through the roof and we’re trying to learn how to deal with it. He has anxiety too, but he internalizes and withdraws while I lashout and cry. So I truly understand where you are coming from and how you feel. It’s horrible, but you have to take care of you before you can take care of your relationship. 

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