This Edition of: "My MIL Makes Me a Psycho" – Baby Eye Colour

posted 4 months ago in Babies
Post # 46
7042 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

carolinabelle :  hahaha touche!!!! I think the OP should totally use that line next time her Mother-In-Law brings it up!!

Post # 47
1403 posts
Bumble bee

elodie2019 :  I’m a blood scientist, it’s quite complicated but there are actually 100’s of different blood groups, but the most important ones are ABO and rhesus D as incompatibilties in those can be be very serious (5mls of the wrong blood can kill someone).

Same blood groups are good for the baby, different ones can be bad, but only in certain and fairly rare circumstances like when the mum has developed antibodies to that blood group through exposure (pregnancy or transfusion) and they can cross the placenta and attack the baby’s blood (if they have inherited that blood group from their father). So your in laws are completely incorrect. The opposite is actually true and only regarding rhesus D and a few less common blood groups, not ABO. 

Sorry for the geek out, but I don’t get the opportunity to discuss my job very much! 

Post # 48
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I feel this in my soul. The 3 times Mother-In-Law has seen my 4 month old, she gushes about how he’s the spitting image of Darling Husband. Like to the point where you’d think Darling Husband had a vagina and birthed this baby on his own. And now lately, Darling Husband keeps pointing out features of LO and saying “oh that’s the same as my grandfather” or some other random person in his family. But the other day so snapped back at him when he said that the baby, who has gorgeous blue eyes, MUST have gotten them from his sister. Erm, my dad also has blue eyes but, yeah, it MUST have been SIL. LO and I aren’t even related at this point, right? Funny thing is, my baby picture compared to LO….is identical 

Post # 49
1221 posts
Bumble bee

These comments are hilarious, though I am sure that I would be just as annoyed as the rest of you if my Mother-In-Law said such crazy things!

My Mother-In-Law is from Wales but moved to the US as a young woman. When my daughter was born her first comment was, oh, isn’t she just precious? She looks just like a little Welsh girl! Then she got all teary….I didn’t have the heart to ask what a little Welsh girl was supposed to look like!

Post # 50
8127 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m sure it’s remotely possible, but I don’t know a SINGLE couple that are both blue-eyed that had anything other than blue-eyed children. 

As for your Mother-In-Law being a nut-job I’d just ignore her or say something snarky. 

Post # 51
3737 posts
Sugar bee

ladyvk :  I’m just here to ask for an update on YOUR mom!!?? 

Post # 52
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Literally had this excat conversation with my Mother-In-Law two weeks ago. She is convinced my LO will have blue eyes. It would be a genetic miracle seeing how the only blue eyes in the family are my grandfather’s. I have dark green eyes, mom’s dark brown and dad’s green. My husband has his dad’s dark brown eyes and his mom has hazel. But no she is convinced since her other son’s daughter has blue eyes my baby will have blue eyes. Other baby is only one btw still time to change.

Absolute best part is my husband and mom have the excat same shade of dark brown. So I can always say she has my mom’s eyes just to annoy her. 

Post # 53
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

genes do crazy things.  my son came out looking like the spitting image of my father’s baby pictures.  then he morphed into me, and now as a toddler is the spitting image of my husband’s toddler pictures.  they could be twins.

as for eyes, who knows.

my husband (his father), my father, and my brother all have blue eyes.  my mother and i both have green eyes.  both my kids have the most gorgeous crystal clear blue eyes. 


one lady at work kept telling me my oldest’s eyes were going to change.  i explained it would be nearly impossible for them to be brown as there is no brown on either side at least 3 generations back in our immediate families.  she said wait and see.  year 3 years later, my son’s eyes are still blue and i told her.


Post # 54
813 posts
Busy bee

OK just to jump in, I did a lot of genetics during my undergrad, 

Your baby is going to have blue eyes. The very simple version is that brown is functionally always dominant. If someone carries the brown genes, they will have brown eyes. Since you and your husband both have blue eyes, neither of you is carrying the brown gene.

If your Mother-In-Law has brown eyes and has blue eyed children, she is carrying the genes for both blue eyes and brown eyes and either her husband has blue eyes, or her husband has brown eyes and ALSO carries the genes for both blue and brown eyes. 

If either your or your husband had inherited the gene for brown eyes, you would have brown eyes, since you don’t you didn’t, and baby won’t have either. 

Light green/gray/lilac etc are typically considered varieties of blue where basically the options are brown or not brown. 

Obviously, there are always exceptions with genetics where someone develops a mutation or some other genetic abnormality, but I think in this case you can rest quite assured that your baby is keeping those baby blues!

Post # 55
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

charlie057 :  While eye color was traditionally described as a single gene trait, it is actually more complicated, since multiple genes are involved–there are two major ones and possibly 8 minor ones. The possibility certainly exists that a blue-eyed person can be carrying a brown eyed gene, and two blue-eyed people can have a brown-eyed child. Here is a more in-depth example/explanation with the two major genes involved:


Post # 56
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

ladyvk :  I don’t mean to be mean, but your post had me thinking of that meme, “play stupid games win stupid prizes” where the “stupid prize” is the frustration you feel right now. The truth of the matter is that if you don’t give into your MIL’s stupid game of “my genes are the strongest” and see it for what it really is, then you will save yourself a whole load of stress. Your Mother-In-Law certainly sounds rude and annoying, but you don’t have to play her game.

Personally idgaf what eye color my kid has as long as they are happy and healthy, and I would have turned that around on Mother-In-Law instead of giving into her stupid argument about blue vs brown.

Post # 57
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

TheGridMonster :  Totally agree with you on that! 

sbl99 :  “My old boss is Zambian and she’s extremely dark skinned. Her partner is white Australian. They had a baby last year and honest to God I was so shocked when I saw that baby – I said to her “You sure you took the right one home? Like you can’t just take any baby home” because that child is about as dark as a light tan on an Irishman.”

I really hope you didn’t actually say this to your old boss and her partner, because that comes off as incredibly rude. Maybe it came off different in person, but insinuating that a person’s mixed-race child must not be theirs is something I’ve heard many women of color complain about.

For example: (and yes I get that you weren’t calling her the nanny, but it’s along the same vein of “is that really your child? why is their skin tone so much lighter?” that this blog post references.)

Post # 58
6447 posts
Bee Keeper

ladyvk :  That’s so aggravating!  I would have just stopped her and said “We’ll see” and left it at that.  You can’t argue with ignorant.  She clearly has no idea how genetics work.

Post # 59
4225 posts
Honey bee

Eye color is not an example of a simple genetic trait, and blue eyes are not determined by a recessive allele at one gene. Instead, eye color is determined by variation at several different genes and the interactions between them, and this makes it possible for two blue-eyed parents to have brown-eyed children.”(Myths of Human Genetics – McDonald, University of Delaware)


That being said, it’s pretty obvious that your baby has blue eyes. They can change a bit though. I have light blue eyes, my husband has hazel eyes. My kids were both born light blue-eyed, like me, but my daughter’s turned blue-green just before she was 3. I overheard some kids telling my son, “He has his mother’s eyes” (a Harry Potter reference). He actually has a lot more than the eyes; poor kid, he’s my testosterclone.

I am interested in the perception that blue eyes are more desirable than brown. I never felt this way and the women I find most attractive all have dark hair and eyes, like Jennifer Lopez. I guess you always like what you don’t have.

Post # 60
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

franklymydearidont :  sigh I was obviously making a joke and would never actually accuse someone of taking the wrong baby home

Edit I should add you make assumptions on what offends someone. This was the relationship we had. She actually made many jokes about not getting a look-in on how that bub came out. Very candid about her own ethnicity and not taking the whole “black v white culture” divide to heart

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