This Edition of: "My MIL Makes Me a Psycho" – Baby Eye Colour

posted 4 months ago in Babies
Post # 61
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

Wtf? Who th cares??

Jesus. “Eeewww omg brown eyes!!? Never!! Ugh gawd forbid my baby doesn’t stay special & better than everyone & loses her desirable blue eyes!!”

Pff. People can buy any color eyeballs they want on the internet (contacts) these days for less than $100 & you’d never know the difference. This is a non-issue & honestly it feels like thinly veiled racism to me a tad bit.

Post # 62
Member
2011 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Check out the below. Genetics is weird though,  out of 6 kids I’m the only one with Mum’s blue eyes. My brother has green eyes & his wife brown eyes- both of their boys have bright blue eyes!

Post # 63
Member
2011 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

ladyvk :  her eyes are so blue and will stay blue 

Post # 64
Member
562 posts
Busy bee

First world problems. Just ignore her and move on. Your babies eyes will be whatever color. In big scheme of things it doesn’t matter.

Post # 65
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

In my experience, there is always an A grandparent group, and a B grandparent group.Meaning, the grands your kid sees the most, bonds with the most, etc. That usually seems to be the parents of the mother. I feel like because they are the “B” grandparent group, they have to go out is their way to insert themselves. My parents see my child 3 times a week. My husband’s parents/family not even once a month, and they are constantly making claims on how my baby has gotten everything, EVERYTHING from their side. Including 

Dimples (even though we have the same amount of dimpled folk in my family)

Finger shape 

ears

love of naps (not kidding)

love of eggs 

eyes 

head shape 

her “angry baby” attitude

This is by no means an exhaustive list. I could go on. Anyway, my parents who are busy developing an actual relationship with her, never go on about how our child basically just has our genes. Again, I feel they feel it’s the only way the “B group” can insert themselves. 

OP, I get it. Not a huge fan of my ILs. I just suck it up though and realize how petty many of them are being, and I genuinely pity them. Try and find a way to fly above you Mother-In-Law. It will just get worse as the baby gets older. 

Post # 66
Member
4207 posts
Honey bee

beepboopbop :  My daughter was working in a store and a woman asked her where she got her blue-green contacts. She replied that they were natural, she didnt wear contacts. The woman got mad at her for “lying” and left in a huff.

Post # 68
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

zoraneale :  This is such a good point, and something I’ll be on the lookout for/remind myself to be tolerant about when I have a baby – my parents are likely to be around it much more than my in-laws are. My husband isn’t very close with his parents and I don’t love the way his mom interacts with the grandkids she already has…but I’ll do my best to stay neutral!

On eye color – of course it doesn’t matter, but I would love it if mine got my eyes and my husband’s hair. He’s a redhead with light green eyes, and I have light brown hair and deep green eyes. 

 

Post # 69
Member
1631 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe I’ve just grown up with shitty parents who said truly terrible things to me growing up, and so I’ve dulled to normal levels of bitchiness, but I don’t actually see what’s so aggravating about your MILs comments. I mean they’re probabistically inaccurate and semi-delusional, but why does it bug you so much? Don’t all grandparents delusionally see resemblance that don’t exist because they want to feel like their prized genetics made it into future generations? It’s like old people who reminisce endlessly about the good old days even if they actually sucked. You just sort of nod, half listen, and proceed with your day. 

Post # 70
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

sunburn :  i mean that’s very rude of that woman, & by the sound of it im sure your daughter is biracial & beautiful & that woman was just a jealous old hag, but that wasn’t exactly my point lol.

I was just saying arguing with your Mother-In-Law about something so stupid as eye color is asinine these days. Bc once a kid is old enough, if they hate their eye color THAT much, they can have whatever color eyes they want via IG. 

Post # 71
Member
796 posts
Busy bee

franklymydearidont :  You bring up some great points! You’re totally right that in theory the baby could have have brown eyes from 2 blue eyed parents, I was merely trying to offer a sort of “coles notes” explanation on why it would be very unlikely for that to happen. 

Post # 72
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

I’m late to the party but I wanted to chime in to defend the OP. I don’t think she’s being racist. It’s not about the eye color itself, it’s about her Mother-In-Law acting territorial of the baby(correct me if I’m wrong OP). 

OP, if my first paragraph is correct then I totally understand. My ILs are also territorial of my daughter against me. When she was an infant it would send me into a complete fury. I feel for you, because I remember how hard it was in the first year with them acting like this. Now that she’s 3 it still bothers me but not as much. I think two things helped 1. Momma bear feelings naturally softened as she got older. 2. We spend less time with my ILs now.

Anyway, you aren’t alone in your feelings. IMO it makes total sense. Imagine you were a bear and another bear started trying to lay claim to your babies in a way that suggested they didn’t respect your relation as the mother. You’d probably maul them to prevent them from trying to steal said babies! Obviously you’re human so you don’t maul lol, but you have the same instinctive feelings. 

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