Post # 1
In response to the one million and three “i hate my ungrateful bridesmaids” posts:
You choose bridesmaids because they are important women in your life. They are not your slaves. Don’t ‘kick them out’ if they cannot afford that $400 J.Crew dress you picked out that they will never wear again. Don’t curse them out if they aren’t available to cater to your every DIY whim you’ve pinned on Pinterest. It is not necessary to have a destination bachelorette party planned and paid for by your bridesmaids. Furthermore, it is a courtesy for them to throw you a bachelorette party at all. Same goes for the shower. It is a customary expectation? Sure. But are they obligated? Nope. Also, if your bridesmaid “gift” is something you are making them wear/do for the wedding, its not a gift. I repeat: they are not your slaves. If you treat them as such, don’t get all confused and start a “Why don’t they like me anymore?” thread after the wedding. They are people you have chosen to stand by your side on your big day. Act towards them accordingly.
A former bride
Post # 3
i’ve been guilty of complaining about one of my bridesmaids, but for none of the reasons here. but i completely agree with you. on all of this.
they are not slaves, they do not have to cater to your whims. they’re here to stand by your side as you marry the love of your life. not to do all your dirty work.
Post # 4
Agreed! There used to be s sticky about this, but I don’t see it any more. I wonder where it went…
Post # 6
Let me just add that the more ladies you have as bridesmaids, the more headaches you create for yourself. Even if they are all golden angels with loving hearts and massive budgets, you still have a much harder time finding dresses that look nice on everyone AND that they feel comfortable in, lining up schedules, getting your pictures taken, getting to and from the reception, etc etc etc.
Do yourself a favor and be very selective. Quality over quantity!! Your guests will have the added plus of enjoying an efficient and speedy processional/recessional. No one wants to watch a proper parade before your wedding.
Post # 7
@RunsWithBears: (If i recall) The owner was banned for snark much later. /-:
Post # 8
I agree with most of this. But I do think BMs have certain obligations like throwing a modest bridal shower.
The biggest source of Bridesmaid or Best Man problems is choosing women who aren’t super close to the bride. Don’t expect your cousin who you see once a year or a friend who used to be a BFF but you now rarey speak to be very excited about being in your wedding. Make sure your BMs really are your nearest and dearest best friends.
Post # 9
@WillyNilly: Ahhh ok. I was MIA for a couple of months and I must of missed it. Such a shame, it was a good post.
Post # 10
Thank you. As exciting as important as your wedding is, it is important to remember that it the BMs are human people and they also have lives of their very own to deal with. It’s only natural that sometimes brides can get to wrapped up in their wedding plan filled life, and forget that not everyone is in wedding mode non-stop. Sometimes it’s good to take a step back, breath, and remind yourself of that 🙂
Post # 12
Completely agree with this! My BMs are no-nonsense gals so I’m sure if I pulled anything too crazy they would call me out on it and talk sense into me. That’s what makes them great friends and bridesmaids too!
Post # 13
Oh, and for the love of all that is holy – if one of your BMs ends up pregnant, don’t accuse them of “stealing your thunder” or kick them out of the wedding!
Post # 14
@ellebeerob: While I agree with most of what you’re saying, I’d like to know (in your opinion) what the Bridesmaid or Best Man role is, exactly?
I would argue that even though they are near and dear to the bride, and she loves them with her whole heart, they do have roles.
Just curious and by no means am I trying to be argumentative – just trying to further the conversation.
Post # 16
@fishbone: Exactly. There isn’t any amount of money you could pay me to have more than eight bridesmaids. The phrase “herding cats” comes to mind.