(Closed) This is a stupid vent about post-wedding drama.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
1809 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Take a step back, you’re overreacting and you went a bit drama-queen on facebook. You have no right to be furious with the cousin who responded on facebook. You could have said “I was just bummed out. I didn’t mean you in my post. I understand why you weren’t there.” but you didn’t. Your wedding is not important in the big scheme of things. People really do have the rest of their lives to live aside from your “big day” A serious weather emergency is a pretty good excuse for people not showing up, and diverting their attentiona way from congratulating you.

 

I don’t know what you were looking for, but there’s no way anyone should ‘boo-hoo’ with you over this. I think you’re having a hard time, just like everyone else and truly, truly unfortunately, this event coincided with a very big event in your life. But that doesn’t give you the right to be passive aggressive to people who have other stuff going on. As far as the stuff on facebook, move on.

 

When it comes to people unaffected who did not hold true to their RSVP, it’s really pretty messed up. If you payed for them to attend, and nothing stopped them from doing so, they were wasting your money and that is pretty rude. But I still don’t think the answer to that was a facebook status shamefest. You should talk to people on an individual basis, and figure out what’s going on if you think you need to. Personally, I don’t think it’s anyones responsibility to make sure they congratulate you. That’s a nice thing, but it’s not a responsibility, and you shouldn’t expect it (even from people you’re close with)

Post # 33
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow. Yeah, I think you need to get a better perspective on this one. Your cousin had every right to be as pissed as she was.

Post # 34
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@littlegreenleaf:  You cannot argue a lack of communication and then post a “non-specific” vent on Facebook.  It takes away any validity you may have had.  I think you are being too hard on the family.  Choosing not to evacuate may not be an act of selfishness.  There are other reasons why they chose not too-sentimental value, you are being asked to leave everything you own.  Who is to say that reaction was wrong, maybe not the smartest, but you should be more sensitive.  Try to look at it from their point of view.  I’m sorry, but if I lost everything I own, the last thing I would be worried about is being a guest at a wedding.  Enjoy your marriage-let go of the anger.  I am not trying to be harsh.  Just giving real talk.

Post # 35
Hostess
4996 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@BeignetBride:  & 

View original reply
@emilygrace07:  All of this.

OP, I think you seriously need to throw your approach in reverse. Call your cousin and apologize. While you’re at it, call anyone else who may have seen it and apologize. Their safety is more important than your wedding. I agree that they were a little rude for not notifying you since you talked to them the day before. However, this tiny infraction is now overshadowed by the huge slap in the face of a public, insulting fb status.

I’ve been there too, but try to remember that attacking someone after the fact may make you feel better but it never helps because it’s in the past. Try to remember to pick your battles when you can actually change the outcome of an issue. 

Post # 36
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My family was without power for two plus weeks, had to ration gas to get to and from work, shuffled between houses as the power came back on, and had to eat and shower at Red Cross shelters. I’m sorry for your lack of wedding guests, but posting a status on facebook was wrong of you. If you wanted to express your displeasure in people who chose to deal with the crisis the storm created, or conserve their gas for things more important than coming to a wedding, you should have called or texted them instad of calling out people on facebook.

Eight miles or no, for weeks people didn’t know when the gas supply might come back, so conserving was the only way to go. Not to mention many roads were impassible due to power lines and trees being down. I’m not sure where your family is, but mine are all in NJ (north, central and south) and many of them had to take 10+ mile detours to go what used to amount to a 3 mile trip, for example.

And as for people who talked to you the day before, but ended up canceling the day of, I doubt it was because they were rude. That kind of stress is tiring, and the fact remains that no one really knew what was going on. And as for people not evacuating, do you really think they would have showed up had they evacuated anyway?

Sounds like the drama is yours alone. Apoligize to the people you offended with your public passive-aggression, then heed your cousin’s words. And then move on, be thankful you didn’t lose anyone, and that you’re married.

Post # 38
Member
1809 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@littlegreenleaf:  :-/ The thing about drama is, it tends to get blown up exponentially depending on the number of controls involved (this includes people, communication methods, and time).

 

None of this can be worked out with you, your fi, his mom, and facebook involved. You might need to one by one talk to each person you feel has slighted you, and get their side of things (while giving yours)

 

It would be awkward, and uncomfortable, but at this point I don’t know what else you can do aside from letting this go quietly (forgive, forget, move on) and dropping it completely.

Post # 40
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

🙁 I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time. I can empathize with what you must feel.. Yes storms will pass and it’s awful the things people have gone through. But to you ( and I’m sure you wanted your your family to feel the same way) it’s a day held forever in your heart. Rain oR shine. Everyone does things like post status or say thing they wish they could take back. But I think if she had the nerve to saysomich on fb she could’ve jUse called?

im sorry you feel this way 🙁 HugsHugsHugs

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