- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I will apologize in advance for this long winded melt down but I can’t keep this in anymore my heart is breaking and I’m raging.
Ok, where to begin? So we’re getting married July 28, 2012, that was the plan at least until the evening of boxing day.
I’ve spent the last 6 months planning the wedding, pretty much on my own as my Maid/Matron of Honor was pregnant and just had her baby, my fiance is busy and the other girls in the bridal party are busy as well. I’ve done all this planning not only by myself but on top of raising our son, making the Save-The-Date Cards and trying to save us as much as I can by doing as much as i can myself. Pretty much everything has been booked and we were excited to get away to spend time with the inlaws for christmas.
Things were going swimminly until my fiance brought up the guestlist (keep in mind it was a quick to go over what we decided guestlist talk). My fiance’s dad doesn’t talk to his brothers and sisters and my fiance hasn’t seen them since we was a teenager and doesn’t communicate with them. We decided from the beginning only to invite close family and friends and this would not include them, we mentioned this months ago and if there was an issue it wasn’t brought up then. It was on boxing day and a fight between my fiance and his dad, then his dad and mom and ended with his dad storming off for the night after pretty much saying he won’t attend if they weren’t invited. This wouldn’t have been a big thing if there were one or two sibilings but he’s one of 14, the with significant others we’re looking at another 30 or so people. When we finally went to bed my fiance then mentioned cancelling the wedding and eloping.
The next morning his mother apologized for the incident the night before and said we should do whatever we want. That afternoon my fiance told his mom we were talking about cancelling the wedding and another argument began. I was in the bedroom when the argument began and I didn’t think I should get involved. I could hear what was being said and one comment really hurt my feelings “I’m sorry she won’t get her cinderella wedding now” (for the record I never wanted a cinderella wedding, just something classy and like i mentioned earlier I’ve been doing so much myself to keep the cost reasonable.) I must also mention that all his family have got married and had a potluck reception at this small hall in the country. Not my thing and both my fiance and I agreed to do our own thing.
Sorry for going off track, my fiance then storms into the bedroom to tell me the gist of what was said, even though I heard most of it then says his mom thinks I’m mad at her and giving her the cold shoulder. I then had to go out there and apologize to her for something that wasn’t an issue. I was upset but certainly not giving her the cold shoulder. I deal with my emotions privately, but to save the peace as we still had a week to stay at their house I apologized.
My heart is breaking because I love my man and I want to marry him so much and was looking forward to our plans but we both feel it’s not worth all the family drama. I’ve already order and paid for my dress in full, most of the wedding has already been planned and deposits paid. If we cancel now, we will lose some of the deposits and all my planning, time and excitement has been for nothing.
My fiance wants to elope and invite his parents but my feelings right now are they have potentially have ruined our wedding why do they deserve to be invited if we elope?
I’ve bawled my eyes out and am having a hard time sleeping over this and have no idea what to do. My fiance asked if I would be disappointed if we cancelled it and how could I not be? I was allowed to dream of this wedding we were gonna have and now 6 or 7 months out I might lose it?
On top of everything else his mom’s family keeps pressuring us for an answer for what we’re gonna do so they can decide on their vacation. which really irks me because I thought this whould wedding thing was suppose to be about us?
Confused, stressed out and pissed off. What a great way to start off the new year!!
Again, sorry for the long rant. I just needed to get it out.