Post # 1
So I found out over the weekend that FI’s Best man cheated on his fiance. It was one of those weekends where I spent the entire saturday trying on/ buying my bridal gown with my mom and bridal party so my fiance spent the weekend out of town with some of his friends…this is almost a month ago.
Well fiance told me (in random conversation) yesterday that his best man had made out with some random girl at the bars that day. He said he wanted to say something really bad but his brother (also one of his groomsmen) kept telling him to stay out of it. They were all too shocked to even say anything.
I feel terrible. Theyre getting married this december! I know his fiance and she’s so sweet. Part of me wants to tell her, but I’m not because its none of my business…Should fiance say anything? maybe not…Clearly he is not ready for marriage. It totally disgusted me.
I understand that nothing sexual went down, but cheating is still cheating in my book. what do you think?
Post # 3
@Keylime Pie: Her fiance should be the one to tell her! He’s the arse who did it.
Post # 4
@louiseW: He never will…its going to be awful going to that wedding and as theyre saying their vows, all i’m goign to think about is him cheating..ugh
Post # 5
tell the best man if he won’t tell her you will, she has a right to know!
Post # 6
I agree the Girl DESERVES to know.
And that her Fiance is the one who should tell her.
Also know from past life experiences, that telling such things doesn’t usually go well (altho in my mind it is the HONORABLE thing to do)
You might want to have a chat with YOUR FIANCE to see what he intends to do with the info he has
Personally, I wouldn’t want this guy to be a Groomsman at my Wedding (and I think if it was our situation, I think Mr TTR wouldn’t want him either)
Technically, your Bridal Party “stands up” for you and HONOURS your commitment to the institution of Marriage and all that is represents.
Couldn’t see where this guy does this… especially so as his “fooling around” happened at a Pre-Wedding Event (Weekend away with your Groom)
If it was us, Mr TTR would have a chat with him, and let him know that he was “dismissed” from the Bridal Party… and exactly why
Can’t make the guy tell his Fiance about the “indiscretion”… but you can take the step where he has to tell her something (which the “firing” of him will cause)
If it ever comes up from the Bride… you can then say something vague but pointed… “In light of what happened the weekend The Boys were away… we just couldn’t see him standing up with us as we take our Marriage Vows”. (And I am guessing at some opportunity BEFORE her Wedding that might come up)
Then leave it at that. She’ll either get it out of him, or at least have a RED FLAG go off in her head (my new rule in life… enough RED FLAGS and your Women’s Intuition kicks in and you LEAVE THE GUY)
Hope this helps,
Post # 7
I would stay out of it. You don’t know for sure that he didn’t tell her, or if maybe they have some sort of agreement. It would be different if it was a secret relationship or something. If anything, maybe your Fiance should talk to him and see if things are going alright in their relationship.
Post # 8
I think you should stay out of this, and the Fiance is the one who should tell, it is so horrible finding it out from someone else. This can only turn badly and you guys will get involved. She has the right to know, but not from you
Tell Fiance to keep check of the guy and ask for an update.
Post # 9
This sucks!!! I hate situations like this. Usually I stay out of them especially if you are not close with the person you’re about to tell. I use to always think it was best to tell the person and that they had a right to know until my friends husband was cheating on her. I had no idea that she was in an abusive relationship. In public he was the perfect husband. Well, when I told her and she confronted him he almost killed her. That was about 9 years ago. She is still with him and he still cheats. To my knowledge the beatings have stopped.
I know your situations is totally different but you may tell her and she may not believe you and this can cause issues between your Fiance and his friend and make you guys look like trouble makers.
This totally sucks and I have no idea what to tell you to do.
Post # 10
Ugh that’s horrible, but he has to be the one to tell her. If you or your fiance get in the middle of their relationship it could cause alllll kinds of drama.
Post # 11
You have to tell. What if you were this girl? About to be married to an arse? Wouldn’t you want to know? I sure as hell would want to know. I don’t get this whole, stay out of it mindset at all. She’s a human being and you KNOW her…. she deserves much better and sometimes you have to do hard things in life. You or your Fiance should tell her.
Post # 12
She deserves to know… she should have all the information and then make a decision that she’s okay with. If (when) she finds out down the road, and she knows that you and your Fiance knew, how do you think she’ll react? What would you want if the situation were turned around? I wouldn’t want him in my wedding, either.
Post # 13
That’s a tough one. Either way isn’t good for your Fiance. You can be sure that it would end their friendship if you were to tell. There is no happy ending here I’m afraid.
Post # 14
I’m the kind of person to try to mind my own business, but I also know that I’d be upset at someone if I were the fiance and I had friends that didn’t tell me I was cheated on. I forget, but are you friends with the girl?
Post # 15
Stay out of it. If you or your finace gets invovled it will most likely ruin your friendship and they will blame you for the fallout. Your in a tough situation and to be quite honest I would try to aviod them otherwise I know (if it were me) it would slip out!
Post # 16
I went through the same thing. FI’s good friend cheated on his Fiance (now wife) multiple times and I wish, I absolutely WISH I had said something to her before they got married. I don’t know if he still does now (FI doesn’t talk to him much anymore, mostly because he has less respect for him due to his indescretions).
We think he may be behaving well now, but who’s to say that if/when they hit a rough patch, or if he has a boys weekend, he won’t do it again.
I would personally want to know. Any way you can make a fake name and send her a facebook message to make an “attempt” at anonymity?