Post # 1
My Boyfriend or Best Friend have a lot of commitment/marriage/living together talks that go exactly the same. I bring it up, he tells me he has no idea when things will get better (he’s looking for a better job), tells me it will happen when the time is right, I tell him I don’t want to wait forever, I feel crappier than I did before, repeat cycle. Lately, I’ve been treating myself more than I should as a direct result to a blow to my ego.
I have a thing for makeup. So, a few weeks ago after a version of this talk, I went to MAC and picked up an eyeliner and a brush. After I heard that my friend got engaged after dating her Boyfriend or Best Friend for a year (shorter than us) and I haven’t met him yet, I marched down to MAC during my lunch and purchased two eye shadows. Makeup made me feel better to a certain point but I also thought, “I could buy every eye shadow in this store and I am still no closer to being engaged.” It made me wish that I could buy something to make it happen but alas, if there was, we all would’ve bought it ages ago.
Any guilty pleasure purchases to ease waiting? Any suggestions to what I can do to make this less expensive?
Post # 3
I haaaate that! No suggestions here, because I do the same thing.. except with food. EEK.
Post # 4
Oh I know how you feel! My best friend just announced that she’s engaged and my first instinct was to cry and then buy something pretty, I calmed down and now I’m trying to focus on my diet so that whenever I do get that sparkly ring I will be that much closer to fitting in my wedding dress lol Hope this helps 🙂
Post # 5
Oh no! Sorry to hear that it’s a repeating cycle. I would suggest trying to find some hobbies (other than shopping) that make you happy that you can do on your own. It will help take your mind off of things.
Speaking of waiting being expensive, I know just how much so it can be! I moved out a month ago into my own apartment (I was living with my SO previously and had been for the last 2 and a half years). I decided that moving out might help him to figure out what he wants. We are still together and so far it seems to be helping. But ugh! Talk about expensive. I’ve now got rent and more bills to pay, which is almost 3 times as much as I was paying when I was living with my SO!
Post # 6
I actually did the same thing when one of then-bf’s best friends proposed on MY birthday! I was at sephora when he told me, so I proceeded to spend WAY too much money…then cry in my car on the way home.
Honestly, I hope I am never one of those “OOOOH! It will happen soon!!” kind of girls, but it did happen eventually, and it was perfect. Keep your chin up, and your eyes well lined 🙂
Post # 7
I’m also guilty of treating myself everytime I feel crappy (and this last twelve months, that’s been alot!) I think it’s been just about everything – clothes, food, books, magazines, vintage teacups, craft supplies, furniture, everything!
At the moment, it’s savings though – which I suppose is better. Now when I feel crappy and hit the shops, I try, I really do, but nothing I can buy is quite as good as the sad little kick I get out of adding a few quid to my savings account! lol
I wear a ring on the third finger of my left hand – I tried to get on that’s as un-engagement ring like as possible. That’s my ME ring – it’s there to remind me that whatever happens between me and any one else, I’m a perfectly whole and competent person in my own right and that I should value myself, regardless of wether anyone else does. If my savings account ever contains enough to swap for a nice Cartier platinum and diamond ring, my ME ring will be upgraded. 🙂
Post # 8
@Mrs. Puffin: Clothes. Lots and lots of clothes. Oh, and shoes.
Post # 9
I love that idea of a ME ring! I think I’ll have to copy it! However, I’m worried about what I’ll have to tell my SO when he asks what it’s for.
Post # 10
@purplebee: My SO is completely supportive of my placing value on myself as a person, but he’s never actually asked why I wear a ring, nor has anyone else. People have been wearing jewellery simply for decoration for centuries. 🙂 If you really need to explain it “i like it” or “it’s pretty” is really all that’s needed.
…I just realised I said left. I meant right. I still get those two mixed up!!
Post # 11
I’m trying to pick back up on my crocheting. Which I used to do. And it seems like since I stopped crocheting, I’ve been more and more upset. And more so with that he just sits and plays video games. And when I try to talk to him. He just responds with, it’s coming. Well, Mr. It’s been coming for a long time now.
Post # 12
Yarn. I’m buying lots of yarn. But at the same time, I’m also getting some good stuff out of the process.
But I’m being good and only spending $30 a shot or so at my yarn shop, and they have a program where if you hit X dollar figure, you get 10 percent off any future order. And I know that if/when we get married, I’m knitting shawls for each of my bridesmaids… so that 10 percent will come in handy then.
Post # 13
Yup. MAC and Lush seem to be my two main weaknesses. Anytime I’m having a hard time waiting my bank account seems to take a major hit from those two sources. Like annasaf83 though I’m also trying to use it as motivation for working out so that I’m at a happy weight for me when it does (finally!) happen.
Post # 14
I hate that I have a clothes shopping problem.
Post # 15
@wanttobemrsb: Oh man been there done that! Let me share a bit of my story. My SO has pushed timelines back on me about three times now. All because of finances he had worked with the same radio station for years and then new managment completely screwed him over so he was left in a bad situation. Which well ok life happens and life also goes on. The second push back happend in Oct 2010, he told me in about two months. So I set my sights on christmas, nothing, so I decided new years eve would be the night how perfect. WRONG!! Nothing I was crushed and I couldnt even hide it, I’ll be honest I ruined new years eve, I was devastated and he did not even realized he had lead me to believe this was coming. Anyway after that I went into a real slump. I couldnt focus, I was in my last semester of college and I reached a point where I was missing classes and field placements, I didn’t care about anything anymore. I quit seeing my friends I was truly depressed about it I felt very helpless and stuck. I also got to the point where I would cry and be angry whenever I could get some time alone, I was short with the SO as well. It was that blow to the ego I know how it feels I convinced myself that if I were thinner, prettier, or less affectionate and dedicated to my SO that he would be proposing. I went on a hiatus from all things wedding or engagment related. No more TLC, no more weddingbee, no more googling erings, or looking at wedding pictures, i even stayed very distant from facebook, too many people getting engaged on there. even that wasn’t enough. Around march everything was suffering, my grades, my health, my job…I was sick all the time. I was having my nightly tear fest in the shower and my SO came in. He had no idea what was wrong. I finished my shower and we had a long long talk about how I was feeling, about everything even how I was letting this affect my school and work, he was so understanding, he heard me out completely was so sweet and loving about it all. By the time it was all over I felt so much better, I know he is worth waitning for, and now he has a new job (finally omg!!) and i really think it’s getting close to time! As far as ways to save money, wow I dont know. Is there anything you really enjoy doing? A hobbie or something maybe volunteer somewhere if you have the time. then anytime you are feeling the stress of waiting you can seek refuge in that instead of retail therapy. Good luck it will get better!
Post # 16
@GwenvonD: guilty of the same… i can’t believe how many clothes i have purchased in the last 18 months. like… a whole wardrobe overhaul…