(Closed) This is in response to to thread started about asking for $ instead of gifts.

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I personally wouldn’t register there.

If people are going to give money, they will give cash, check, or gift card.

Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

This isnt much different than the honeymoon registries (end of day its cash) and you will be getting a very large range of responses.

Me personally, not OK. My friend had one even before I was on here and knew about it and I thought it was a horrible idea. Luckily she also had store registry, and this is really childish I know, but I got something there and probably didnt spend as much because I was apalled at the cash request hidden by a honeymoon registry.

Post # 6
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

You will find it has a lot to do with region, circle of friends, family etc. I couldnt imagine the vast majority of my friends and family having one.  This friend was a new friend in a new state.

I was talking to my mom about it and she said my aunt and family would be so upset at how “tacky” I was if I were to do it. However, its also in our tradition to give cash for the wedding (something I usually do as well except with the friend that asked for it) if I dont get creative with the gift.

Post # 7
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@luvmyDwight: I registered for my honeymoon. People loved it. I registered with honeyfund and people purchased us specific outings. When we did the outing we took a picture of us doing it with thank you signs and set them in the thank you cards. It was hit.

Post # 8
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

we’re italian and greek – you are going to get cash from us whether you like it or not so im not judgey on this

Post # 9
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think honeymoon registries are great.. A lot of people feel obligated to bring an actual gift to a shower, since showers have always been for women to sit around and watch the bride opening gifts.. I feel like you should register somewhere also, for those people.. But for people that don’t feel like going and hunting down random things on a bridal registry it’s a great option and I dont think it’s tacky at all.. I feel like if you don’t like the honeymoon registry than buy off of the store registry.. No need for anyone to be judgemental.. Do what makes YOU happy!!

Post # 10
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Giving cash for a wedding is OK, asking for it never is in my opinion.

Post # 11
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s a great idea… I registered at honeyfund =D

Post # 12
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Weddings are taking non traditional paths, why not registries? 30 years you didnt see “rustic weddings”, “colored shoes for the bride” or “candy bars/buffets”

Everything changes over time and so does traditions and expectations. You are getting married and cash is a great way to support a new couple. Especially if the couple is older and have already lived in apartments. Therefore, the toaster and blender are not necessary for the bride and groom who already have one from past houses, apartments, dorms when they were single.

One thing that has never changed is the right of people to complain. Everyone complains if they didnt get to do that at their wedding and then it becomes a jealousy issue. My sister got married in the 90s and the cute things of today like candy buffets and colored shoes she didnt get to have. So now she just complains about everything I have in my wedding and saying “well, I didnt do that at my wedding.”

Times change, and its time to move ahead.

Post # 13
Member
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I probably got 90% cash gifts.  Its just the culture so there was no need to ask for it or register at some website just so that they can take a cut of it.  Its very odd to me to register for cash and pay a fee no matter how small.

Post # 14
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I personally couldn’t care less what the couple asks for – I want to get them what they need, because I like them and am happy for them, and if that’s cash, great! I don’t have to pay for shipping! I would much rather give a couple money than buy registry stuff that they intend to return or don’t actually want. I believe that if the intention behind a gift is really altruistic, the giver would be happy to know what gift would make the recipient the happiest, regardless of what the gift is.

I understand if someone has a problem with registries as a general rule, but I don’t really get why one would think it’s fine to have a registry at Macy’s or Williams-Sonoma but not a honeymoon registry. It just logically doesn’t make sense to me – the couple is asking for something specific in both cases! (I am aware of the arguments, so I don’t need it explained, I just don’t think it makes a difference.)

But then, I wish people would register for EVERYTHING: birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day, etc. I have spent hours and hours agonizing over what to get every person in my life that would be exactly what they want, so it’s nice to just be told.

Post # 15
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think it’s a culture thing. In Mexico (at least where I live) having a registry it’s distatefull: Telling people what to buy and where to buy it, especially because the stores that offer a registry service are super fancy and ridiculously expensive. So asking for money became a good idea. Anyways, when couples register most of the times guests ignore it and just get them what they want.

Post # 16
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think there’s a difference between asking for cash and actually writing it on your registry info.  For example, FI’s cousin just got married and when I asked her if they were registered, she basically told me they didn’t register and just hoped that they got some cash to pay off their new house.  It didn’t bother me at all and I’m sure she told the same thing by word of mouth to others who asked her. 

I think there’s a big difference between that and actually writing something about it on her invite.  I think it’s the asking for a gift that is the problem, and not asking for cash specifically.  Why is it ok to ask someone to buy something for you but not to give you money?

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