(Closed) This is in response to to thread started about asking for $ instead of gifts.

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 17
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@MademoiselleL: I agree, at the end of the day they spend money in you, why should it bother them the way it is expended? It’ll be worst if they buy you something and you end up returning it.

Post # 18
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Giving or receiving money is awkwarddddddddd, no matter how you do it.

This seems rude to me but if if you think about it, it would be nice to not have to check your bank account all the time to see if the couple cashed your check yet.

It’s very weird and impersonal though like, “hey don’t bother writing me a card and giving me a check or gift, here’s my bank account number you can just deposit it right in there. Saves me a trip to the bank.” I wouldn’t do it, but I’m usually a registry gift giver.

Post # 19
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Weddings are taking non traditional paths, why not registries? 30 years you didnt see “rustic weddings”, “colored shoes for the bride” or “candy bars/buffets”

I don’t see those as the same. Those are just superficial features of the wedding. Asking for cash falls in the realm of etiquette, similar to text-messaging “Thank Yous” (or not sending them at all) rather than sending an actual handwritten card.

Post # 20
Member
273 posts
Helper bee

@luvmyDwight: I just checked it out, actually if you go to the “give a gift” section and type in any random first name, you can click on the couple’s page and see what they wrote to get an idea of what you might want to say (so as to make it sound more sweet). I think its a great idea! Will I do it when I am engaged, not sure…but ill cross that bridge when i get to it 🙂

Post # 21
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

A lot of people say “all honeymoon/cash registries are the same” but I’m using MyRegistry.com and I think it’s a good compromise because you can have a honeymoon (or new house or whatever you want to call it) registry along with all your physical gifts and it’s all listed together. Then you don’t have to tell people to visit your purely cash registry, you just send them to myregistry.com and they have the option of cash or a more traditional gift. I don’t really see what the big deal is, but to each her own I guess!

Post # 22
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee

Most people who are against honeymoon registries have the following reasons;

1) It is just a disguise to register for cash.

2) There are usually fees associated with it (I’d rather just cut you a cheque for $XXX and you get XXX not XX.)

3) You don’t actually get what you register for.  If I want to get you a romantic dinner, I can call up and order that through the hotel, I don’t need a registry.

 

But asking for any gift is never ok.  Cash, an item from your registry, anything.

Post # 23
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have never really understood why people think it’s ok to have a traditional registry, but not ok to state a preference for money.  It’s the same thing!

Personally, I probably wouldn’t like the site – mostly because anytime there is a 3rd party involved it probably means that my gift would be shared with them, and I’d prefer all of my gift to go to the bride and groom.  But I wouldn’t have a problem with a bride and groom stating a preference for cash gifts.

Post # 24
Member
4335 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@dodgercpkl: Because if people are going to (want to) give you money, then they’re going to give you money, period.

If people are going to (want to) buy you a gift…then they want to know what *kind* of gift you want, so a registry helps them out.

ETA: so, a honeymooon or money registry of any sort makes what is already extremely easy (eg, giving someone cash) into demanding (“give me money.”) 

Post # 25
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Register they way you want on whatever site you like.  I see nothing wrong with it, but again, we had a Honeyfund registry.

There will always be people that think it’s rude to ask for money as a gift. When you are creating a registry of any type you aren’t demanding they give you something off of that, it’s just a list of things you would like so your guests have options.  In the end it’s your guests choice of what they want to give you.

We had only a total of 8 people use our Honeyfund registry (for wedding and bridal shower).  But 99% of our guests gave us cash or checks anyhow.  We spread it through word of mouth that we wanted to take a nice honeymoon, so cash would be appreciated if they wanted to do anything.  All our guests also knew that we both had our own complete homes before we moved in together so we didn’t need anything that a “typical” registry would offer. 

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