- 9 years ago
- Wedding: March 2010
A couple of years ago, Fiance and I moved to his grandmother’s duplex in Newport RI. We loved it there. She had been living in assisted living and the place was vacant so we decided to move in, upkeep the property and we had dreams of buying it someday.
It was right down the street from the assisted living, which afforded Mr. Irish a chance to visit often and Mr. Irish’s father was her power of attorney. He would visit his mother about 2-3 times a week. His brother, on the other hand, almost NEVER came down to visit, in fact, the family had not heard from him in several months. He had recently married his ? third ? wife and she was much younger and he kind of seperated himself from the family.
So life was good. I was commuting about 55 miles each way to work *for a job I would then spend all day driving around in my car since I am a visiting nurse* but my son – FI’s adopted son – was going to a really good school.
The school we had left he really did poorly in, but in this school, he was flourishing. We started replacing the very old plumbing, kept up the house and were quite happy with our lives.
Then FI’s grandmother came down with pneumonia and it looked as though she might not make it. My FFIL’s family decended upon the house in drones, saying goodbye to her and rifling through her things in the basement.
The property was worth quite a bit, and the home was hand built by Mr. Irish’s grandfather. It had this amazing knotty pine 4 season porch which we had turned into our library.
Well… immediately after she became ill, FH’s uncle took Future Father-In-Law to court and obtained power of attorney. We had no idea at the time and we were very focused on ill grandma so we never realized it.
Then we recieved a 14 day notice to vacate the property. We did not have a chance to get a new apartment, we had a golden retriever we were going to have to find a place to live for and my son was smack dab in the middle of his year in first grade.
Well we ended up moving to seperate places. I went back home with my parents in an overnight emergency move, my son had to start attending the school which he had done so poorly in and my FH moved to his friend’s house with the dog.
We actually split up over it. We were apart for several months before we could even speak to each other. Apparently when asked WHY his uncle did it – it was because Future Father-In-Law had let the homeowner’s insurance lapse and because I was not “family” they were afraid I would sue for their inheritance. Money hungry sleazeballs they were.
But she recovered. We have not spoken to their side of the family since, except Future Father-In-Law. Well, we recieved a phone call from Future Father-In-Law on Christmas Morning – and his mother has passed.
The feelings here are too deep. I of course plan to be there for FH – he was close to his grandmother – but the thought of spending two days with this money hungry family disgusts me – I mean they ruined a large part of our lives – and my son lost a year in school because the school transition did not go well. I already know these people are going to be swooning over the will and the thought disgusts me to an extent I have been actually throwing up for a couple days.
And then, of course, there is the fact that I am STILL not *technically* family and they had made that point VERY clear last year. I am nervous about how my attendance will even be percieved – as I never had a chance to know FI’s grandmother before her extremely advanced dementia… I feel out of place, unwanted, disgusted and so sad for him…
How do I do my best to be there for him? Sigh – a HUGE part of me does not want to go – but of course I am going to…….. Can ANYONE help?