(Closed) This is MY gown, NOT yours! (semi-rant)

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 16
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

That is a cool ass dress!!! If you like it, that’s all that matters. No one will be able to visualize it until it’s on you. Then they’ll get it. So go for it!

Post # 17
Member
1781 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh my gosh, I’m not sure why you want to look further.  I love your dress.  To me, it’s timeless.  Please remember, you really have to go with your heart.  It’s YOUR pictures that you’ll be looking back at for years, you want it to reflect YOU.  Isn’t the dress really the one thing in the wedding that can really reflect yourself?!  Take what others say with a grain of salt.  No matter which dress you chose, you can never get every single person on the same page.  We often have many different friends in life and love and enjoy them for certain reasons.  It doesn’t always mean we are going to agree on the same dress.  Enjoy your friends for the reason you have them in your life, but you do not take their style opinions to heart.  PLEASE!

Post # 19
Member
66 posts
Worker bee

I had the same problem with one of my girlfriends that had just gotten married and thought she knew everything. I showed her a few gowns I was interested in and she tried to talk me out of them and suggested something similar to her dress (Satin ball gown, totally not my style). So when we went dress shopping I took her suggestions and tried on a few gowns similar to what she had suggested and they just didn’t have that wow factor for me. Then I tried on the dress style ( fitted drop waist with a slight A line)  I had been looking at.. and BOOM we found a winner that she even loved.

Some people such as your friend may not have the same style as you do and have different visions of what a bridal dress should look like. She was just probably trying to be helpful. Tell her thank you and let her know that those dresses she suggested just aren’t the style you were going for. Venues and themes usually dictate the type of dress that would look best in that setting. I saw that you mentioned in your dress post that you will be eloping, so why would she think a A line would be fitting?

With all that said I LOVE your dress vision!

Post # 20
Member
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

lol, i try to be that way too…for example, i CRINGE at ballgowns.  hate them.  always have.  i don’t even like fuller A-lines.  so every time i see one on this board with the “what do you think” question attached, i feel like saying, “ew.”  BUT, if i post, i separate myself and try to look at it at least objectively, if not through the bride’s eyes, and comment on how it does or doesn’t flatter her figure, etc.  lol.  and if i can’t say something positive or completely objective, i keep my comments to myself.

my experience, however, is that most people aren’t this way.  i don’t think it’s rude to expect it, just a touch on the optimistic side, lol.

Post # 21
Member
66 posts
Worker bee

@milesbella:

I feel you! It is  OUR day not anyone elses, If my family likes it great but if they don’t too darn bad.

Post # 22
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

not to be harsh, but you can’t be mad at someone for expressing their opinion when you ask for it. she even said she didn’t want to answer because she didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but you pressed for it. you said yourself that your style is unique and different (ps. i do like the dress you’re designing!), so wouldn’t it come with the territory that it’s not for everyone?

Post # 23
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

ok first off. Ur dress is so dreamy! I love it! The neckline is not matranoly at all. It’s very pretty. And second. Ur hot. You can rock whatever dress you want especially that one. My opinion??…is she jealous of you?? I would think tht she is…my Future Sister-In-Law was helping me pik out bm dresses and I piked out a gorgeous ballroom gown style with ruffles tht I LOVED! I was gonna get one for me lol. When I asked her she said it didn’t match my theme..(which was black tie…so umm no?) and tht it wasn’t flattering. ( trust me. It was) only to find out tht she wanted tht same look for her bm’s for when she gets married.  ( which wil be never hahah) anyways…is ur friend jealous??…does she secretly LOVE The dress and want something similar for her?…

tht could be a possibility I guess…

either way. ROCK THT DRESS GURL! 🙂

Post # 24
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MzSoon2b: Some people such as your friend may not have the same style as you do and have different visions of what a bridal dress should look like. She was just probably trying to be helpful. Tell her thank you and let her know that those dresses she suggested just aren’t the style you were going for.

This. It honestly doesn’t sound like your friend was trying to be mean. I get that what you’re upset about is her alleged attempt to interject her style into your dress/day, but if someone doesn’t like that style of dress, it’s going to be hard for them to make suggestions – that still fit within that style – to “improve” it. Their improvements would just likely be a different style. It seems to me that she (1) tried to spare your feelings by not responding initially, (2) tried to be honest when you asked for her opinion, and (3) tried to be helpful by sending examples when you asked what she thought would make it look better.

Post # 25
Member
7321 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You asked for opinions, she declined. You pressed her, she said she didn’t want to hurt your feelings (completely acceptable response). You asked her what would be a better choice, she told you.

Why are you now pissed? Don’t want to know? Don’t ask!

I really hate when my friends do this, because it becomes impossible to have an honest conversation without someone getting all huffy and offended.

Post # 28
Member
7321 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@MsGigi: You may not be pissed, but the way this is reading, you do sound pissed.

I understand that maybe you were looking for advice on how to make the gown you already had better. But some people look at a gown and think “Some ruching near the waist might add more texture and dimension.” Others look at a gown and think “I don’t like that. Maybe this other gown would look better.”

I’m saying, your friend already tried to find an out and you kept asking. So you really can’t fault her for sending you pics of other gowns, regardless of whether or not they were your style.

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