(Closed) This is MY gown, NOT yours! (semi-rant)

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 46
702 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Honestly? I would also never wear a dress like that. I’m not a fan of lace and having anything that close to my neck makes me feel like I’m suffocating (even all my tshirts/sweaters have to be v-nevk). BUT!!! If you were looking for a romantic Edwardian throw back, then you hit the nail on the head. I think your dress is perfect for you based on your descriptions of who you are and what you were looking for. The only critique I can give is, while I love the lace part of the cap sleeve, I find the ruffle bit at the end of the sleeve a little distracting. Maybe because it breaks up the clean line?

Otherwise, it’s a beautiful dress. NOT MATRONLY! It may not be my taste but I definitely see why you would love it. I’m sorry to hear that your bridesmaid couldn’t see past her own interests and give you a more supportive answer.


Post # 48
3625 posts
Sugar bee

I have always loved a deep back in a gown, so,yes, that would definitely be something to consider.

I like the illusion on the neck and back, but I’d like it more if it were truly sheer and not so gathered and full.

Post # 51
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

When I hear the word matronly I think old fashion and out dated!

When I read your post this is the dress that popped in my head:

(please do not take offense  if you or some you know wore a dress like this! It was the “It” dress back in the older days! I use it mearely as an examlpe!)

Then I copied your link to see what dress you were talking about!

I must say I was so suprised and stund that your friend would say that at all about hte dress you posted!

That dress is far from matronly / old fashioned!

To me it is a VERY HIGH FASHION WEDDING DRESS, those type you see on runways!

I love the dress you chose and think you will look stunning in it!


Post # 52
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999


Well she did try to make your gown better.  She thought it would be a better gown if you didn’t wear it.  You wanted to know what would be better for you and she offered that advice (the dresses she showed you).  You’re terribly hard to please.  You can say thanks, but no thanks.  If she dosn’t like the dress she’s not gonna be like do this here and do that there, because she dosen’t like the dress, period.

Post # 53
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i love the dress you chose. i say go for it if you have the body for it. it would look terrible on me because of have a short neck =( but it is really breathtaking.  you said you were having it made.  i don’t know anything about you seamstress.  my only concern is that the seamstress might not be able to get the exact detailng.  but it sounds like you have an amazing seamstress and that’s the least of your worries.

your friend didn’t like the dress and after pressing her, she gave you her honest opinion.  i guess don’t ask if you don’t want to hear honesty or at least be prepared that not everyone will like everything you choose.  you just have to be okay with the fact that you can’t please everyone and since it’s your day, you do what makes you happy.  i don’t think there’s a need to be so upset.  (not sure if you are but you sound really pissed.)

when i went dress shopping, one of my bridesmaids insisted on me trying on very specific dresses that were more suited for her body.  i knew it wouldn’t look good on me because i know my body.  she kept on sending me pictures of a-lines.  i know it’s the type of dress she likes because she has a tiny top and heavier bottom half.  i’m bigger on top with broader shoulders but i have no hips or butt.  when we went shopping, i tried on the dresses she chose and dresses i chose and she realized that dresses that look good on her did not necessarily look good on me. 

i’m getting suggestions from all directions but i think my friends are really great about not taking things personally when i don’t go with their suggestions.  i guess they realize it’s my day and i get to have what i what.  i’m giving them free reign on their dresses because i’ve realized that i cannot control everything.  i can’t believe i’ve become so easy going.  it’s not even my personality. 

i also try not to impose my opinion too much on my future sis in law.  (she’s geting married in 9 days.)

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