(Closed) This is not something I can easily get over :(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

What about doing a small vow renewal ceremony on your 1 year anniversary.

Go somewhere special, just you and him and have a small “perfect” renewal. You could probably even get new photos.

Post # 5
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with the vow renewal. It’s gotta be hard when you put a lot of planning and heart into something and it doesn’t pan out. I vote redo! πŸ˜€

Post # 6
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

One year is definitely not too soon. Yes, absolutely wear a white dress! Do it again, exactly the way you want it! My husband and I eloped nine months ago so we could buy a house, so technically our big wedding 11 days ago was a vow renewal.

Post # 7
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Ditto on the vow renewal.  Fiance and I really wanted a simple, destination wedding, but due to families and their inability to travel, we opted for the traditional wedding.

We are taking our honeymoon during our one year anniversary, and I want to do a simple vow renewal on the beach, just the two of us πŸ™‚ And you can DEFINITELY wear white.

I watched an episode of Say Yes to the Dress with a similar story, and she purchased a beautiful white dress!

Post # 8
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Awww! *hugs*

I am really sorry about your mom. I’m sure she was ‘there’ with you the whole time.

Don’t be upset about adding that extra little church reception for your Mother-In-Law. Since you said everyone left early, that’s indication enough for your Mother-In-Law to know that it probably wasn’t such a good idea. (A proverbial ‘slap in face’). You, on the other hand, have brownie points for actually going through with it. You can’t be held accountable for people leaving early, nor can you be blamed that you didn’t let your Mother-In-Law throw in that [lousy] reception.

As for the photographs, I am sure they look bad now, but years down the road, or even a few months later, they will make you smile. If you are SUPER CONCERNED about how bad they are, then see if you can get another photographer or even an art person photoshop it to make them better. Photoshop can do everything real life can’t. πŸ˜›

I am sure your dress looked fine on you. It’s just the nerves talking! It’s very difficult to lose your mom so close to your important day. You probably blame yourself a bit as well for waiting so long that your mom couldn’t make it eventually. But just know that you did what you did and most things are not in your control. And another positive side is that you now have a wonderful, amazing man to share the rest of your life with. (He was definitely worth the wait!)

Post # 10
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

It can be whatever you want, as expensive or inexpensive as you’d like. To be perfectly honest, if I could do it over I’d have a simple church ceremony with a dress purchased at Ross followed by cupcakes at my Mom’s house.

Post # 11
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Italian Lady – I also forgot to say, I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom.  I meant to say that in my first message.

I don’t think it would be too expensive, other than the cost of the officiant.  I just want to buy a pretty dress, find a nice spot on the beach, then go out for a fancy dinner!

Post # 13
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My feeling is that one year might be a bit too soon to do a large, formal vow renewal.  That’s perhaps better saved for the five year anniversary.

A small, private celebration in a fabulous tropical locale seems a bit more appropriate to a 12 month interval, but that may just be me.

ETA:  I’m sorry for the loss of your mom, but so happy for you that she was able to meet and love your husband before she passed.

Post # 14
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@ItalianLady: I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. It’s never easy to celebrate a happy time when someone so important is missing.

With that said, I know how you feel. Don’t get me wrong, my wedding was beautiful. But…it was my mom’s wedding and not mine. There was so much that I gave in to that I just didn’t want. I didn’t like the way my hair came out, I was stressed out the entire day and it just wasn’t what I had envisioned.

I’ve coped with it by focusing on my marriage. It might not have been the best day of my life, but it was definitely the best outcome of my life! I am now married to the most wonderful man for me, and we’re building a great life together. Try to focus on that, and a vow renewal is just the trick for you to remind each other of that!

Post # 15
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would do a destination vow renewel

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