(Closed) This is our situation.. this is how I feel.

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
3058 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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oliveasea :  while I sympathise about your financial issues,  there’s no reason you can’t be *married* right now. Going to a Justice of the Peace costs very little…

Post # 4
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

 

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oliveasea :  Life isn’t perfect, as you well know due to your employment situation, and nor is marriage. 

You can pull together a wedding that costs very little. It’s about the 2 of you not the show you can put on. I say give it a shot. 

Post # 5
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee

Can you have a back yard wedding somewhere and make a bunch of food for the guests? I’ve seen many weddings like that. Some even had friends do the DJ’ing. It’s about celebrating with each other and those you love. I think once you take that first step in marriage, you might feel more comfortable making the next steps. I didn’t have the venue I wanted for my wedding, but we did end up having it at a church by my house. There were prettier venues, but hey…we said our vows in front of our friends and family, we danced, we ate, we had cake. It doesn’t need to be an extravagant event if you can’t afford it. But at least you will be married and have what you desire…

Post # 6
Member
10397 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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oliveasea :  

my man has this vision of how he wants that perfect marriage and doesn’t want us to settle

He’s quite happy for you to go indefinitely as you are then ,  till such time as you do have money to spend on a big wedding, no matter how sad you feel about it ?  Frankly OP, I don’t think that is good enough. Some compromise is called for .

You call him your boyfriend,  so you are  not even engaged ? I suspect this boyish dream of a big wedding may be covering a more serious aversion to marriage committment.

I hope I’m  wrong of course, but the fact is we rarely marry our childhood ( literally  in your case)  sweethearts. If you are dead certain it is him and only him you can imagine  marrying ,  then I would have a very serious talk with him, laying our your desires for an engagement , marriage and children  plus a timeline and see  how he reacts. 

 

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