(Closed) “This is PARTIALLY your wedding!”

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m not sure I understand – was he saying it’s partially your sisters’ day too?

I do agree that weddings are only partially for the bride and groom; they’re also largely a chance for family and friends to celebrate with or for you. But I don’t think it was fair of him to single your sisters out like that and say it’s more about them than any other family member.

Post # 4
1937 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m not quite clear… if he said this to you, was he referring to the fact that although you’re the bride it’s still the groom’s day too?  Or family?


For me, our wedding ceremony is really about us (bride and groom), although we are still cognizant of our family being present of course.  The reception is much more about bringing our families together to celebrate, and has much less to do with us.

Post # 6
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

hahaha @ famizilla!!!

people get so wrapped up in weddings! maybe it was his way of saying “it’s a family affair, not just for you” in which case he is a little bit right, but what a terrible thing to say!

Post # 7
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

This reminded me of what happened at a friend’s wedding.

She and her fiance were paying for everything, without any real help from anyone. So, the families start to be overbearing, say what should happen and blah blah blah. So, the future SIL told the bridal couple “This is a FAMILY wedding!!!” at the wedding rehearsal and the bride cooly said “Really, I didn’t know that the family chipped in. I mean, I know that your brother and I paid for everything. Where is the family’s contribution to this so called family wedding?” It was crazy.

Post # 8
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with him, a wedding is only partially about the couple, otherwise all those other people wouldn’t be joining you!  Maybe he said it in a way that was inappropriate, but sometimes it’s a good thing to keep in mind!

Post # 9
3997 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m sorry your family has been so tough to deal with.  Sounds like its pretty frustrating!  I’d be upset too if someone said something like that to me too, if they meant it to be malicious.  If that was his tone, he’s wrong.  However, I do agree that, while the bride and groom should be the center of it all, a wedding is also about the family.  That doesn’t mean (in my opinion) that they can call all the shots though.  Finding that balance is streeeessful!

Post # 10
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Since my parents are paying for the whole wedding I run everything by them first. My mom is pretty open to letting me run the show, but she had to nix some of my “wants” because she didn’t feel it would be appropriate (i.e. not inviting my paternal grandmother because I can’t stand her or my one uncle because I think he is creepy). In the end I respect she is paying for the wedding, so I don’t get upset when she wants to do something or wants to invite certain people.

Post # 11
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We are having a very small wedding without a lot of expense and we are paying for it. Anyone who thinks it is anyone’s day but mine and my FH’s needs to stay at home! We live 8+ hours from our family and friends so the only people we expect to come are our (grown and mostly grown) kids, his mom and my dad. Our BFFs are coming (2 couples) and that is it. I don’t forsee any issues not even drama with our teens. But then, I’ve been wrong before!!! Surprised

Post # 12
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I get it Cbee.

Future Mother-In-Law said “I waited all my life to have my family around me as my son gets married”. Really? Then where’s the money to help us pay for them to be invited? No help from you = our guest list, not yours.

Post # 13
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Is it “your” wedding to the extent that you should not consider anyone else?  No.  Is it “your” wedding to the extent that you have the ultimate say on how you want your wedding to go?  Yes.  Unless other people are paying for it, then they get a say too. 

Post # 14
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Families are annoying and Ive had my fair share of aggravation with things that have been done and said but really and truly I personally believe the wedding is for EVERYONE regardless of who is paying. In other words, its a celebration for the bride and groom but its one in which everyone celebrates together. Now….that does not mean families should be allowed to unleash their fury upon the poor couple and demand this or that, but there has to be some level of patience from the couple (more so than on a regular basis) because weddings tend to bring out the worst in people! At least that what Ive seen…

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