(Closed) This is really starting to be annoying….

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think your “good friend” isn’t really a good friend. If I were you, I would spend the time with your FDIL doing the stuff that you have already planned. I do agree that the invitations should get sent soon though. A lot of the guests may just decide to go to the wedding they receive the invite to first. Allthough, if I was a guest invited to both weddings, I would probably go to both. As a guest, I wouldn’t have the same responsibilities as the people in the wedding. And, I wouldn’t mind giving up my weekend.

Post # 4
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree, I dont think theyre being very nice and sound very competitive. I would be upset, too if they were choosing the same or close dates and putting mutual guests in a bind. Are they coming to your FDIL’s shower? I mean, you could use her birthday as the excuse and I would personally rather be with her for her birthday but I really dont know how to answer that.

O and just so you know, July really isn’t that far and I would go ahead and send them (the invites). In my wedding planning books and from what my planner has advised, Save-The-Date Cards go out up to 6 months ahead and then invites about 3, especially if it’s not a local wedding.

Sorry this is happening to yall, what a snarky, rude lady. And you dont put your wedding on your shower invite, shes so trying to outbeat you! Ugh!

Post # 5
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

It may be obvious to people that she is trying to compete. I would mail the invites out asap so that she won’t beat you to it.

Post # 6
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you are being overly sensitive…maybe the daughter didn’t think about it. Is she close to your son? Maybe she forgot what day their wedding is, since they announced it a YEAR ago…that is a loooong time ago. Maybe the date is special to them. I think you need to talk to your friend and find out what happened.

Post # 7
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

send the invites and get in first and dont worry about the shower… the shower will work itself out. I have had two of my friends weddings in one weekend and we had a few mutual friends but the girls were not close friends of each other. Needless to say we ended up going to both weddings. I wasnt missing both there wedding days for anything. Those guests who are friends will make it, or either have a very good reason (we are related to the other bride)

Post # 8
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You are within the correct time frame to send out invites now (they can go out 6-10 weeks prior to the wedding).  Don’t worry about your “friend.”  You shouldn’t let stupid stuff like this bother you because what’s important is your son’s wedding and the reason behind that, not the guests that show up.  Shrug it off and politely decline the shower by saying, “I wish I could be there but I will be preparing for FDIL’s shower on that day.”

Post # 9
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

ooooh! there is a chance they have no idea. then there is a chance that they’re being insane about it and scheduling a conflict on purpose. Either way, I’d send the wedding invites out yesterday, and use the day before your family’s shower to prepare and celebrate your FDIL’s bday.

Post # 10
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s a shame, but I think your good friend is trying to one up you! I would tell your FDIL to get her invites out ASAP! As for the showers, I think it’s fine for you to respectfully decline going to her shower since you have your own that you’re planning for the very next day. I’m sorry that your friend feels that she’s in competition with you, but hold your head hight and have your son and FDIL keep planning away as if your friend and her daughter don’t exist!

Post # 11
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I think that you have more than enough leeway to politely decline.  You have things to do and a shower to prepare for!  Maybe she will think about what a stupid move it was to plan the two showers back-to-back like that (but I doubt it!).  Maybe she did it on purpose so that you could not attend?  Either way, I’d send a card (no gift) and politely decline.

The topic ‘This is really starting to be annoying….’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors