Post # 1
Some of you may remember a post I did a couple of months back where I asked if I had the right to be upset that a very good friend’s daughter recently chose the same wedding date as my son and FDIL did and had announced a year ago. We have many of the same friends and both weddings are about 4 hours in opposite directions from our hometown. The girl actually already got married at a courthouse when her son was born 18 months ago, and is now doing a full fledged wedding at a lake resort. My son’s wedding is at a beach location.
Well…we sent out bridal shower invitations a couple of weeks ago for a luncheon in our hometown on May 16th. Today in the mail I got an invitation to my friend’s daughter’s shower to be held the DAY BEFORE on the 15th! I find this to be very annoying because I doubt all our friends will want to give up a whole weekend to showers. Again they KNEW the date of our shower and planned theirs for the day before???? Does this seem like a cheap shot to anyone else, or am I being too sensitive? I don’t particularly want to go and listen to the whole “Which wedding are you going to?” comments from the guests and then see these same women again the next day. I don’t want my friends to feel awkward either. It also happens to be my FDIL’s birthday, so would that be a good excuse for me not to attend? I was planning on doing a lot of the food shopping and decorating the day before as well for my FDIL’s shower.
Also, my FDIL is finishing up her wedding invites for their July wedding and was thinking of mailing them next week so guests can get their hotel rooms. Part of me thinks it’s a bit early, but the other part is thinking if she doesn’t send them soon, the other girl is going to do it anyway. Ugh. She actually put her wedding date on her shower invites too. What do you think Bees?
Post # 3
I think your “good friend” isn’t really a good friend. If I were you, I would spend the time with your FDIL doing the stuff that you have already planned. I do agree that the invitations should get sent soon though. A lot of the guests may just decide to go to the wedding they receive the invite to first. Allthough, if I was a guest invited to both weddings, I would probably go to both. As a guest, I wouldn’t have the same responsibilities as the people in the wedding. And, I wouldn’t mind giving up my weekend.
Post # 4
I agree, I dont think theyre being very nice and sound very competitive. I would be upset, too if they were choosing the same or close dates and putting mutual guests in a bind. Are they coming to your FDIL’s shower? I mean, you could use her birthday as the excuse and I would personally rather be with her for her birthday but I really dont know how to answer that.
O and just so you know, July really isn’t that far and I would go ahead and send them (the invites). In my wedding planning books and from what my planner has advised, Save-The-Date Cards go out up to 6 months ahead and then invites about 3, especially if it’s not a local wedding.
Sorry this is happening to yall, what a snarky, rude lady. And you dont put your wedding on your shower invite, shes so trying to outbeat you! Ugh!
Post # 5
It may be obvious to people that she is trying to compete. I would mail the invites out asap so that she won’t beat you to it.
Post # 6
I think you are being overly sensitive…maybe the daughter didn’t think about it. Is she close to your son? Maybe she forgot what day their wedding is, since they announced it a YEAR ago…that is a loooong time ago. Maybe the date is special to them. I think you need to talk to your friend and find out what happened.
Post # 7
send the invites and get in first and dont worry about the shower… the shower will work itself out. I have had two of my friends weddings in one weekend and we had a few mutual friends but the girls were not close friends of each other. Needless to say we ended up going to both weddings. I wasnt missing both there wedding days for anything. Those guests who are friends will make it, or either have a very good reason (we are related to the other bride)
Post # 8
You are within the correct time frame to send out invites now (they can go out 6-10 weeks prior to the wedding). Don’t worry about your “friend.” You shouldn’t let stupid stuff like this bother you because what’s important is your son’s wedding and the reason behind that, not the guests that show up. Shrug it off and politely decline the shower by saying, “I wish I could be there but I will be preparing for FDIL’s shower on that day.”
Post # 9
ooooh! there is a chance they have no idea. then there is a chance that they’re being insane about it and scheduling a conflict on purpose. Either way, I’d send the wedding invites out yesterday, and use the day before your family’s shower to prepare and celebrate your FDIL’s bday.
Post # 10
It’s a shame, but I think your good friend is trying to one up you! I would tell your FDIL to get her invites out ASAP! As for the showers, I think it’s fine for you to respectfully decline going to her shower since you have your own that you’re planning for the very next day. I’m sorry that your friend feels that she’s in competition with you, but hold your head hight and have your son and FDIL keep planning away as if your friend and her daughter don’t exist!
Post # 11
I think that you have more than enough leeway to politely decline. You have things to do and a shower to prepare for! Maybe she will think about what a stupid move it was to plan the two showers back-to-back like that (but I doubt it!). Maybe she did it on purpose so that you could not attend? Either way, I’d send a card (no gift) and politely decline.