(Closed) this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life but … (long)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@Stace126:  Oh no! That is a lot for one person to bear. Perhaps finding a way to compartmentalize all of that from your engagement will help?

Like everyday find on thing to love about your relationship and no matter what else sucks hold onto that. Feel what you feel about the other things happening but don’t let those feeling touch or sour you feelings towards your relationship.

Its a technique akin to laughing and smiling until you anctually feel like laughing and smiling.

Post # 5
Member
4099 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Stace126:  we can see the spaces, you as the OP, can’t…

anyway..

I’ve been (and still kinda am) in your position, with the exception that I am ‘full time’ but not ‘permanant’ at my job, and my lump was on my breast, not in my hooha.. I got health insurance through the state.. I only got granted that because I had a REALLY bad kidney stone that put me in the hospital…

I’m going to give you the advice I was given here, and it helped.. Talk to FH, talk to yourself, take time for yourself.. Make sure YOU are there for YOU and not just everyone else.. Things WILL get better! If you need to talk, don’t hesitate to PM me 🙂

Post # 6
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard

Yowza that is a lot of stuff to be happening all at once…I can see why you’re so stressed out. It is easy to catastrophize things when so much in life is going on, where a little stress here and there turns into a huge flaming ball of poo and it seems like you’ll never come out on the other side….

1st things first, try to get rid of the little worries that are not really that big of a deal: losing weight for the wedding (who cares) and the heater not working in your car (sucks, but at least your car is fine otherwise). Worrying about not being good at your job is a waste of time – you do your best, and that’s the best you can do. I understand new jobs are stressful, but since there’s a lot of learning involved and it’s a new environment from you, it’s likely that your employer realizes this and takes it into consideration when evaluating you. If you’re really that worried, you can always talk to your supervisor/employer and ask them how they think you’re doing and if there’s anything they want you to do specifically to improve. You need health insurance so try your best to focus on your job and your health (unless you plan to get insurance through your Fiance when you get married). 

Then realize that health is number one. It’s good that you’re going in to get the lump checked out. Where exactly is the bump located, are you sure it’s not just part of the normal ridges that are up in there? In any case, if it is new, it’s definitely important that you get it checked out, regardless of insurance or not. You said you made an appt already, this is good. 

Your mom is on dialysis…this must be really hard to go through. Try to enjoy the time you have with her as much as possible. 

Now for the best part….once the next few months are through, you will be married and living in a house that you and your husband own together. You just have to get through this tough time where it seems like everything is falling apart. Just keep reminding yourself of that. Above all, try to enjoy the time you have with loved ones. Journalling helps too – write down all your problems, then come up with the steps you need to take to fix/deal with them. If there’s nothing you can do about them right now, scratch them off the list. 

 

Hang in there, and keep us updated!

 

 

Post # 7
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Stace126:  I just want to give you a big hug! These months will pass and you will get through it. You got some awesome advice above. Take care of you. 

 

Post # 8
Member
7686 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Stace126:  Just keep reminding yourself that these troubles are temporary. Things will get better. I went through 5 years of one problem after another — some were my own fault, some were things life just threw at me. I suffered from serious depression and was suicidal every single day for 2 years. But thanks to medication and constantly tellling myself “this is temporary, it will get better” I survived and I am now the happiest, most satisfied and content I’ve ever been in my life. I hope your troubles don’t last 5 years, but even if they do, they’re temporary. It will get better and you’ll be proud to say “I made it through.”

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