(Closed) This is tacky right?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 62
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

VERY tacky. If it was a destination wedding that a VERY FEW amount of people were invited, i.e bridal party & priest only, then I would understand. My uncle did a small wedding with he and his wife, a Bridesmaid or Best Man, a Maid/Matron of Honor and flower girl. They had a priest and photographer. Naturally, because he’s my uncle,I got them a gift anyway…It’s not like he excluded me. 

Post # 63
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@Overjoyed:  lmao. LOVE IT 

Post # 64
Member
916 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@kimmo416:  hahahaha! I would have replied saying; “registry? Like a baby registry? Because I know you wouldn’t be asking people to purchase a gift for a wedding they weren’t invited to.” 

Post # 65
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ouch. Ignore the email. I suppose it’s up to you whether the email affects any plans you’d already had to give them a card or gift. (You don’t need to do either; up to you.)

Even if that email was only supposed to go to the “invited” email list (and you got it accidentally), sending the registry info was uncouth. People will search for or ask about a registry if they want to give a gift, invited or not. It needn’t be shoved in their faces as if the couple expects everyone to give them things.

You also shouldn’t have been on the bachelorette list if not invited to the wedding, but that’s another issue…

Post # 66
Member
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Super tacky.

Post # 67
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m wondering if the email wasn’t meant to go to you. I mean, it’s unbelievably rude if she did it deliberately, but maybe it really was an accident? 

Post # 68
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Not tacky… but rude and in poor taste, definitely. Yikes! 🙁

Post # 69
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

“it went to my spam folder, sorry i never seen it”…and be done with it…

Post # 70
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Very rude!

Post # 71
Member
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Is it possible that she was typing in someone else’s name and email and the autocomplete thing added yours instead of her intended recipient? I’ve sent emails to the wrong person (not often, because I double-check now!), but it has happened in the past.

It may also be possible that she completely forgot she hadn’t invited you – I began to get a little confused towards the wedding date, especially with the people that were close to the cutoff point, or that my partner and I debated about inviting.

Or she could just be terribly rude and/or gift-grabby. Either way, it sounds like she’s still a close friend, so I would try to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Post # 74
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

ewww…what a jerk

Post # 75
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Buy her a gift, a copy of Emily Post’s “Etiquette”. 

Post # 76
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

okay, call me crazy, but I’m going to be in the minority here. I’m not sure if it’s tacky, rude, or just airheadedness that caused the email. BUT. I think the main thing is how you respond. if she is a friend, why would you not consider buying a wedding gift? I realize you haven’t known her long but destination weddings and ettiquiette surrounding them can be tricky. You don’t want to invite people to a destination wedding that you don’t think can even afford it because you don’t want to make them feel quilty. I can speak from experience because I had a somewhat destination wedding – we got married in a totally different state from where I grew up in/had most of friends.

My point is, if you cherish your friendship with this girl, don’t be a smarty when replying back. No, you weren’t invited. But clearly she wanted you involved if she invited you to the bachelorette, etc. I would reply and say something like “Thanks for the registry info. I had been wondering about this since I know it’s usually with the invites and I didn’t get one. But I will take a look!” 

That’s neither committing to a gift, but is also saying hey, I wasn’t invited. thankyouverymuch 🙂

again… two cents from the crazy minority.

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