(Closed) This is the last straw. I think I'm losing it.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@AdriannaJean:  I think it is perfectly okay to be upset. Why did you FH drop the ball on planning? Is there somebody else who is really good at planning that you can pull in and explain the situation to that would be happily willing to plan the bachelorette party at this point? Is there a place you love where you could hang out with the people who are invited? Personally, I am all for simple easy low-key events.  

Post # 4
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I live in the UK, where most brides plan their own bachelorettes…usually called hen parties.  Most don’t have bridal showers.

I sometimes think we can get in the position of believing our wedding to be as important to the people surrounding us, as it is to us.  It just isn’t.  Also thinking that someone is going to change what they are like overnight is like barking at the moon.  You mentioned that your sister is ‘hopelessly bad at organising’…that isn’t going to change just for your wedding.

I’d be thankful that if you do the organising at least your bachelorette party will end up being what you want. 


Post # 5
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

The only person you have any right to be mad at is your fiance. If he told youthat he was going to help plan the wedding and then left you high and dry then yes you have every right to be annoyed with him.

The situation with your sisters is a whole other sotry. No one is entitled to a shower or bachelorette. They are gifts. You never ask people to host them for you, you never host them yourself, and you most definitely don’t step in and “fix” it when you don’t like what someone else is generously planning for you. I find your annoyance with the bachelorette party especially baffling. You expected your younger sister who isn’t even allowed to attend to invest money, time, and effort when she doesn’t even get to come to the party. Are you listening to yourself?

Post # 6
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t feel like you’re being unreasonable. If they didn’t want to do the shower, they should have said no instead of just half-assing it. I also disagree with PPs, I think a bridal shower is a clear traditional responsiblility for BMs and they need to step up.

Post # 7
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I think @arendiva is being kind of harsh.

1. Me and my Fiance are the same as you….he wants a wedding, but I’d rather elope. Even so, I wouldn’t trust my Fiance, being a man and all, to plan wedding. Just curious, did you really think your Fiance was going to do that? I’ve never heard of a man planning a wedding even when he’s the one who wants it. Maybe he’s a special kind of man?

2. Your sisters definitely should have stepped up to the plate and planned your bridal shower and bachelorette parties for you. Maybe you should have put the younger one in charge of the shower since she can’t attend the bachelorette. One thing I’ve noticed is the people closest to you can be the ones to take you for granted the most. I would probably assign those responsibilities to a friend instead, who is close to you by choice and not b/c you’re related.

True Story:   I recently planned a bachelorette for a semi-friend (the finace of my FI’s cousin) and I wasn’t even a bridesmaid. Her sisters and cousins were bridesmaids and they didn’t do ANYTHING…two didn’t even show up. Her FI’s mom had to step in and plan a shower and I did the bachelorette out of the kindness of my heart. 

Maybe you can just give them more detailed instructions, i.e. tell them exactly what you want to do and have them execute. It can be hard to come up with an idea that lives up to the bride’s expectations, from my experience. Good luck hun!

Post # 9
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Reign14:  I’m not being harsh. This is basic ettiquete 101. Bridal showers and bachelorette parties are gifts. People either offer to throw them for you or they don’t If no one offers you just don’t get to have one.


@AdriannaJean  I get that it sucks that no one you are close to wants to throw you a bachelorette party but it’s rude of you to force your sister to throw you one especially when she is already throwing you a bridal shower. For what it’s worth it’s also kind of rude for a hosted party to be a potluck. But if that was her idea than that’s your sister’s faux pas not yours. I’m sorry that things haven’t gone the way you wanted.

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