(Closed) This is the only thing I've asked for and she said no.

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
578 posts
Busy bee

I don’t know about this one. I *hate* sharing a hotel room with girl friends. I love my friends, but I sleep *so* much better in bed with my husband. I’d likely look like a mess in the morning after a sleepover with friends. I just don’t enjoy the adult sleepover concept at all and feel crappy afterwards.  If she goes back to her own room right before going to bed, is that such a big deal? 

Post # 3
8692 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wouldn’t want to share a hotel room either personally. I sleep like crap in hotel rooms and just generally would feel more comfortable in my own bed. I don’t see what the big deal is if she goes back to her room once you guys are going to sleep.

Post # 4
875 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

MissOtter:  Sorry but she’s an adult. Maybe she isn’t into the whole “sleepover with girlfriends” idea. I know I’m not. She’s bringing her boyfriend and would rather stay with him. You should respect that. Her job is to show up on time in the agreed upon dress and smile for the camera. The fact that this is stressing you out that much is a little concerning. Take a deep breathe and focus on what is important and not where this girl sleeps the night before your wedding.

Post # 5
3276 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve never stayed overnight before a wedding I’ve been in and I’m not asking any BMs to either. It’s there choice where they want to stay. If he bf doesn’t know many people or would be there alone then I would definitely understand her wanting to stay with him. I’d just tell her what time to be there in the morning and let it go. 

Post # 6
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

On the night before my wedding day I want to sleep either in a room alone or with my Fiance. The idea of an adult sleepover does not appeal to me in the slightest so I sympanthize with your Bridesmaid or Best Man. 

Have fun with the other girls who are willingly participating and get over the fact that not everyone would be into that. 

Post # 7
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Honestly?  I am a private person, and I do not like to share hotel rooms. Especially if I have been traveling. If your bridesmaid is anything like me then she will not be able to sleep comfortably, and likely wont even be able to go #2 in the morning. The lack of sleep would be NBD, but not being able to go to the bathroom would be an issue for me.. 

I think your concerns about her not being ready in time are sort of silly – if your friend is an adult and has already paid $$ to come to your wedding and pay for her own room, I seriously doubt that she won’t make it in time for primping.

I am siding with your bridesmaid on this one…

Post # 10
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

as the PPs said, if she agrees to hang out until everyone goes to bed then goes and sleeps where she wants are you really losing out on anything? seems like maybe she’s giving a general buzzkill attitude which is really what’s bothering you and what you might want to talk about with her. but if the solution is that she hangs out but sleeps w her SO that sounds like a reasonable plan.

Post # 11
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I kind of agree with everyone else. She should not feel obligated to stay the night before with you girls. I get why you want it but at the end of the day, it should be her decision.


Post # 12
6005 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t want to share a hotel room, either.

Post # 13
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

MissOtter:  You are being unreasonable. She already agreed to spend the night hanging out with you, so what difference does it make where she sleeps?

What else are you asking your bridesmaids to do? I ask because the title of your post says “this is the only thing I’ve asked for” but later you state that you are worried that she’s not “going to want to participate in other things” and that she might not “show up.” Are you concerned that she is going to blow off your wedding?

Post # 14
6018 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017


MissOtter:  I think that if she’s willing to stay until bed time than you should just let it go. Shes willing to do the bonding but wants to sleep in her own room. I don’t see why that’s an issue. I personally woudl want to sleep in my own room. What will you really be missing by her sleeping elsewhere if she is there for everything up until bed time. You can’t dictate something like this, you can ask but that’s it. You asked, she gave you an answer and that wasn’t good enough since you sent your Maid/Matron of Honor after her as well. I would be annoyed if I were her too. I hate to be harsh, but I feel like this isn’t an issie that should be causing you stress.

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