(Closed) This is the only thing I've asked for and she said no.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 46
354 posts
Helper bee

I just realized OP deactivated her account. So this thread is pretty much useless.

Post # 47
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

We are doing a girls’ night sleepover the night before my wedding, but it is totally optional. For example, my brothers’ girlfriend (who I am close to) is a bridesmaid, and they have a room for a few nights in the same hotel, so I am kind of assuming she will want to go back to their room to sleep. 

Honestly, I totally get wanting to sleep with your SO if it is an option. As long as she comes and hangs out, I dont get why it’s so important which room she sleeps in. 

Post # 48
8992 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

PuppyLove720:  “If you want your bridesmaids with you the night before your wedding, then you get to have your bridesmaids with you.” & “A woman’s wedding is the one time where she doesn’t really have to care about what her friends think.”<br /><br />Wow! I am shocked that someone can actually think like this about a party and their friends. Being a bride does not suddenly make you the supreme being that everyone must bow down to. 

Post # 49
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I would hate to stay in a hotel with the other bridesmaids too. I think you’re being unreasonable. 

Post # 50
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle


The closest thing i can think of is the sugestion of  “we can stay in the same hotel and I’ll go back when it’s time to go to bed.”

I myself am not girly (and im the bride) and would prefer the same hotel but different rooms.. especially if she cant bare to be away from the bf.. One thing i have learned through difficult family and friends is that you just have to accept them for who they are.. forget about her and focus on the other wonderful people you have around you! ask her to join and if she doesnt go then say OK and enjoy without her coz if she did come she sounds like she would be a grump sitting there on her phone..?!

Congrats! I personally am having all my Maid/Matron of Honor, Bridesmaid or Best Man123 stay at my house the night before as the groom will be at his brothers (next door) lol Im like you and like to know everyone is up and getting ready, they can help eachother if running late etc..

Post # 51
4815 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

MissOtter:   I can see her point of view.  I absolutely HATE sharing a room even with my closest friends.  The night before a big event I’d want to get a good sleep to be at my best to help out the next day.  

Post # 52
35 posts

I was in a wedding party where the bride wanted a girls night before her wedding day. It was a desitation wedding so we all had hotel rooms anyway.

The bride got her own bed and I shared the big bed with another bridesmaid. I honestly thought it was an awesome idea! My other roommate snores- like literally jet engine taking off! Finally I would get enough sleep- and the evening before the wedding to boot!

Well- turns out the other bridesmaid was a bed hog, leaving a sliver of a queen sized bed to myself and… I ended up being the ‘little spoon’ with her. Made a pretty uncomfortable night- I’d pick the snorer anyday- or even better- my own room.

Post # 53
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think you’re being ridiculous.  You get your bridesmaids for your wedding day and the rehearsal.  That’s it. You’re all adults and she doesn’t need to sleep with you guys the night before. 

At my friend’s wedding, we had more fun chilling in the hotel pool and the lobby’s bar area, and then going to sleep in our respective rooms.  She’s gonna be with you the whole next day….I think that’s enough.

Post # 54
80 posts
Worker bee

I feel the same way as most of the bees.  I like to sleep with noise and I can’t stand snoring.  If I’m going to have a million pictures taken of me the next day and likely have a day full of events, I want to get a good night’s rest.  Also, unless your BM’s boyfriend knows a lot of other people going to the wedding, it’s not really fair to ask her to leave all alone.  

Post # 55
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

MissOtter:   I know I will be flamed and please know I am not taking your BM’s “side”, but I wouldn’t want to go to the sleepover either. To be honest, I hate the idea(for me as a person, I am not calling it a bad idea for people who enjoy it :)), the thought of sharing a hotel room with people… I sleep best beside Fiance and if sleeping beside him isn’t an option then I’d want to be alone. My preference would be to hang out with the girls and then leave to go to bed.

Sorry, I know this probably isn’t helpful, just my honest opinion. Maybe she just reall doesn’t likw sleepovers. Participating in a sleepover and planning to participate are two different things. I have participated if there was a situation no ride home or Dear Daughter ended up drinking, BUT I would never plan to sleepover

Post # 56
394 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t want to spend the night away from my man, either.

OP, this sounds like a sixth grade slumber party rather than a wedding…except even at that age, I understood that not everybody is comfortable with sleepovers…for various reasons.

Let your friend sleep where she wants to and get over it.

Post # 57
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You’re being unreasonable. Of course she wants to stay with her boyfriend! Why wouldn’t she? I would. Forced sleepovers are the worst. Probably the other girls want to stay with their boyfriends/SOs too (if they have them) but are being too nice to tell you.

Post # 58
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m going to disagree with most of the others. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to spend the night before your wedding with your friends. It’s something that’s meaningful to you and it’s not like youre asking anyone to do something utterly ridiculous. The “grown woman” excuse is fine and all, but a grown ass woman would also acknowledge that this is clearly something important to her friend. It’s one night to do a sleepover, suck it up if you really hate the idea so much, and spend some time with the bride. I totally get where you’re coming from, and if the bees here want to use the “grown woman” excuse, then the same goes for the fact the boyfriend is a grown man who can handle a night alone in a hotel. He’s mingling with people at the wedding, not in his hotel room. He can afford to stay alone while she spends time with the bride. I don’t think you’re asking too much, and stick to your guns girl. People aren’t as nice over the internet, so don’t take the crass remarks to heart! 

Post # 59
19 posts

i do understand alot of people don’t like the idea of adult sleepover that being said I had alot of fun as Maid/Matron of Honor to my best friend doing one


She really wanted to have the 24 hours with out seeing the groom thing, so i came to her place the day b4 we all head to the hotel (a bit out of town) so i did 3 nights one night in their guest room one night in the hotel with her and then one night in the hotel with my mother who is also close to the bride and was a guest at the wedding


i found it really fun, and at the end of the day it was one night. My best friend was edgy but thrilled and she never sleeps alone to this day when he goes out of town i often go visit or call when he is out late so she would not have rested at all in the hotel with out the sleepover factor and it was really special


the breakfast in the morning the fact the grooms family was on one floor us on the other everyone buzzing about the spa and hair inthe morning just wonderful I don’t blame you for wanting to have that its a shame people can’t put aside their normal needs for one night

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