(Closed) This IS the worst case scenario

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Oh no.  I am so sorry.  This is truly sad and very bad timing, but hopefully your wedding will help to lift Future Mother-In-Law and FI’s spirits some.  I’m so sorry again. My thoughts are with you and your FI’s family!

Post # 4
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

Wow .. I’m sorry. 

Post # 5
Member
1816 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I am very sorry to hear this!  While this is a terrible tragedy, at least you can take comfort in the fact that FI’s grandmother is no longer suffering.  Also, thankfully his mother and father are currently in stable health.  My thoughts are with you and your family.  You will make it to the wedding day without any more sorrow.  I am sure of it!  Try to keep your spirits up.  You are in my thoughts.

Post # 6
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Frown My condolence to you and your family. But I’m sure grandma wanted to see the two of you finally married. I hope his Mom will find strength in new beginnings.

Post # 7
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Sorry for your FH loss that is a tough situation…

Post # 8
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We had to deal with something like this a few years ago. My grandmother died and we buried her the day before my cousin, who had been the one family member with her at the time (she passed quickly), got married. It wasn’t a case of him having delayed the wedding multiple times like yourself, but it still made him and his now-wife pause for a moment and ask the collected family if they should wait and marry later. The whole family said for them to get married, that it would be what my grandmother would have wanted, which was completely true. As it ended up, several of us that weren’t sure if we could make it to their small wedding got leave from our jobs for the funeral and stayed for their wedding, so more family was able to be there than original plans said.

Go forward with it. Don’t ignore that it happened. You might choose to honor her memory at some point in the day. ::hugs:: to you and your soon to be husband on the loss. 

Post # 9
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

I’m so sorry for your loss…I’m sure this is a very difficult time for your family, but just think…on Saturday, everyone will have a reason to celebrate!  Are you thinking of doing something to honor her memory?  It might help those who are grieving to acknowledge her passing so they can move on to happier thoughts for your day.

 

Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I am so sorry.  My grandmother, who I was incredibly close with, passed away a month before our wedding.  THe one thought that helped us that might help you – was that she was too sick to attend the wedding, so we liked to believe that passing away before our wedding was her way of being there with us…..I put her picture in a locket that I wrapped around my bouquet.  We also had the officiant mention all the grandparents who weren’t able to be with us that day – hearing her name in the ceremony ended up being more sweet than sad for us in the end.

Post # 11
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh goodness, this is terrible. I’m so sorry for you and your family. Like you said, at least now she’s no longer suffering. Of course that doesn’t make it any easier on those you’ve left behind. My grandmother passed away in October at the age of 92. She also lived with my parents, and my mom was devastated. When your mother lives with you for over 20 years, it’s so hard to let that go. Taking care of her becomes your life.

Please give our condolences to your family. And please come here if you need to vent. Have you thought of a possible way that you can honor her during either the ceremony or the reception? It might be a moment of sadness in the day, but it would be very honorable to try something like that if you were thinking of it.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

Post # 12
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

In Jewish tradition there is a spot at the beginning of the ceremony to mention those who cannot join us for the wedding. Could you mention his grandmother’s passing at the beginning of the ceremony? I know it’s a sad way to start a wedding, but it’s also a way to acknowledge what has happened. Sending positive thoughts your way. I am sure grandmother would want only happiness for the two of you.

Post # 13
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh I’m so sorry. It’s so hard to grieve and yet to be excited for other things in your life. It’s so conflicting. A friend of mine (just got married last weekend), her uncle passed away about 2 days before her wedding. Wedding was Saturday, funeral was Sunday. The family will be sad yes, but the wedding willl also be a good opportunity for them to take a break from the difficult emotions, smile, celebrate life, and reset. I’m sure your FI’s grandmother would want you to have a beautiful day and know that she would have loved to be there celebrating with you. If it were me, I would do what someone mentioned previously, and ask for a few moments to pause and reflect for FI’s grandmother. Maybe have some of her favourite flowers incorporated if it’s not too late?

Best of luck on your day sweetie. We’ll all be sending you happy thoughts.

Post # 14
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Thoughts and prayers to your family, maybe the wedding will bring everyone closer so they can celebrate a new start to a life together and celebrate the life of another. Wishing you a life of love and happiness!

Post # 15
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m sorry for you loss 🙁   I think Nightravyn gave great advice tho!

Post # 16
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Though it’s a very very sad time right now, I think that your wedding will be the perfect thing to help move forward and celebrate life. After all, grandparents are responsible for a lot of that day, you know? She would be happy and proud that you and your family will be gathered together in such a positive way. When my great grandmother passed, it was sad, but at the funeral and wake everybody talked about all the good things about her, and shared a lot of laughs and great memories. Wishing you the best of luck!

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