Post # 1
Need to get this of my chest.
MY Fiance proposed while his divorce was not final. Yes it is not good, we all know it, and he was waiting as it’s obviously not ideal, but it was taking very long and we’ve been in LDR for 1 year, 5 months, with 8000 miles apart us and a 11 hour time difference (we’re in different continents), thus we don’t see each other often and we both wanted the relationship to move forward ( I am 39 and he’s 51). We also went thru a near break-up a few months ago thus I reckon he wanted to really show me that he was fully committed. I respect and cherish all that.
But I can’t help thinking that he is not really available. And I can’t help but feel mega frustrated that we can’t set a date. And I worry about whether his ex wil find out.
My FI’s previous marriage was in another country to where I live and to where he lives now (which is where I’ll be moving too shortly) thus some people have even said that we could go thru with our marriage in my country, at least in the religious aspec, but it feels not proper to me…
Anyway, I love to know that perhaps I’m not alone….
Post # 4
its just the proposal. The wedding is not for another year plus. Do you not think the divorce will be final then?
Post # 5
@MrsConnick: no he’s not divorced, another couple of months.
@lefeymw: thats true that its just the proposal, but im kinda structured i suppose. Yes, we’re planning on marrying in a year or so, by which time divorce should be final.
Post # 6
i know there was another bee somewhere making plans/bookings for her wedding and her FI’s divorce was held up – so for me, my thoughts are dont be making any deposits until you know legally he is free to marry
Post # 7
Well, I’m not divorced, but I am engaged.
My ex H (and yes, I do consider him this) asked me to delay our divorce until after his mother died. Our marriage had been one in name only for about 2 years. We decided to split literally days before she was diagnosed with terminal cancer….we hadn’t even got around to telling his parents. I agreed, mainly because at the time she was only given about 6 months to live, and didn’t see the point of making her last months more miserable (ex H is an only child and she was always proud of his being married)
I was already friends with my now Fiance, and we started seeing each other soon after my seperation…which we managed to explain to exILs as me ‘working away’
exMIL ended up dying 2 and a half years after diagnosis. Fiance and I got engaged 8 months before it happened.
It’s not the ideal situation – luckily myself, Fiance and ex H all get on very well. Bad reactions have come mainly from other people, like friends and FI’s parents. I’m hoping we will finally be legally divorced by this summer.
Engagement is only a decleration of intent to marry, it has no legal binding.
Post # 8
@eloping: I found those threads. Glad to know at elast I’m not alone!