(Closed) This is weighing on my conscience…

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Can she be matron of honor since she is married?

ETA: nvm…they are both married. If it bothers you that she is upset then why not have 2 MOHs or just talk to her about it? I dont think not addressing it when you know she is hurt is a good thing to do.

Post # 4
7735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sevash:  I think you need to have a conversation with her, difficult though it may be. I’ve been on the receiving end of a sorry-you’re-not-the-MOH conversation and it’s not easy but I survived. (Short version: “yes I’ve known you longer but I’ve grown closer to Sue; And I’m just so honoured to have 2 such wonderful friends to stand with me”).

In that conversation I think you should apologise to breaking it to her in a public place (i.e. at a dinner). I don’t think that was the right way to break it, because for her “bridesmaid” is kind of bad news rather than good news.

If you do decide to make her co-MOH after all (not that I’m suggesting you do that), make sure they actually share the Maid/Matron of Honor role. There was a post a few days ago from a girl who realised she was Maid/Matron of Honor in name only, the other Maid/Matron of Honor had all the Maid/Matron of Honor roles (toast, hold bouquet, sign register, stand closest in ceremony and photos, sit closest at reception).

Post # 5
1031 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@sevash:  I think you should talk to her about it. I know its hard, but how else will you clear the air and find a resolution?

Also, if you are comfortable with it, she could be your Maid/Matron of Honor as well. Although, it might be too late for that. 

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