(Closed) This is weighing on my conscience…

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8701 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Can she be matron of honor since she is married?

ETA: nvm…they are both married. If it bothers you that she is upset then why not have 2 MOHs or just talk to her about it? I dont think not addressing it when you know she is hurt is a good thing to do.

Post # 4
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sevash:  I think you need to have a conversation with her, difficult though it may be. I’ve been on the receiving end of a sorry-you’re-not-the-MOH conversation and it’s not easy but I survived. (Short version: “yes I’ve known you longer but I’ve grown closer to Sue; And I’m just so honoured to have 2 such wonderful friends to stand with me”).

In that conversation I think you should apologise to breaking it to her in a public place (i.e. at a dinner). I don’t think that was the right way to break it, because for her “bridesmaid” is kind of bad news rather than good news.

If you do decide to make her co-MOH after all (not that I’m suggesting you do that), make sure they actually share the MOH role. There was a post a few days ago from a girl who realised she was MOH in name only, the other MOH had all the MOH roles (toast, hold bouquet, sign register, stand closest in ceremony and photos, sit closest at reception).

Post # 5
1033 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@sevash:  I think you should talk to her about it. I know its hard, but how else will you clear the air and find a resolution?

Also, if you are comfortable with it, she could be your MOH as well. Although, it might be too late for that. 

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