- 7 years ago
(I am a regular poster, but the person I am writing about is in the process of planning a wedding and I’ve posted pictures of myself on here and don’t want to risk her coming on the site if she uses it or coming across this post and tracing it to me.)
Okay. So a week after our wedding (this past summer) DH’s mom calls us and tells us that his niece ran off to the courthouse and got married to her boyfriend. (They are both 19, have a 2.5 year old together, and were engaged once before with an already canceled wedding last year. They got back together and got reengaged this year.) Apparently, her parents were upset with her living situation or something, so she decided to move in with her boyfriend at his parents’ and they got married at the JOP. BUT– she hasn’t told her parents that, and DH’s mom and aunt decided to plan a “wedding” for her, to take place 3 weeks after she got married. Nobody invited, not even the bride’s own parents, know they already married; the only reason DH’s mom told us is to ask if the niece could use some of the stuff from our wedding.
So recently I got a FB message from the niece asking did I know about the wedding and were we coming. This is a week before the wedding, and I guess she thinks it’s okay to just Facebook people and ask if they are coming to her wedding? (Which, by the way, don’t get me started on how they are lying to people about it being a “wedding” when it’s NOT, they’re already married!) I told her we couldn’t make it; Darling Husband travels a LOT for work and we live 10 hours away, so there was just no way to make his schedule work so that we could drive 10 hours there and 10 hours back in one weekend.
Today she posts a status on FB saying her wedding is in 5 days and her registry is completed, so everyone can go look at it! First of all, there’s two registries on there that are both hers- one from the last canceled wedding, and now one from this one. And basically, the registry is like Kim Kardashian’s. They live with his parents, don’t have a place of their own and are 19 and have registered for: Spode plates (18 at $20 each), flatware that is $75 A SETTING, a $140 toaster, a $400 mixer, and alcohol drinking glasses. Old fashioneds, highballs, stemless, red wine, white wine. And not cheap glasses. $60 for each set of 4, and they want 2 of each kind. They’re not even legal to drink!!
THIS IS LUDICROUS. It is at the point now that I am just flat out offended by this whole thing. It is just too much, and there’s only so much you can have written off because of your age. I have no idea why her mom or somebody has not sat her down and explained to her that you can’t invite people via FACEBOOK (at the very least with the time constraint, just make a phone call!), you don’t post statuses asking people to buy off your registry, and if you don’t even have a home yet, why don’t you register for PRACTICAL stuff that people can actually AFFORD? Where’s the dish towels and everyday dinner ware and drinking glasses and small appliances and things you NEED to start a home? What 19 year old couple needs $75/setting flatware and all these different kinds of alcohol accessories? I’m sure her mom would also tell her that you shouldn’t invite people to a “wedding” and regret to inform them that you’re already married, but she can’t, because the bride is afraid to tell her own MOM she’s already been married for a month!
So, for those of you who wonder if etiquette is still even necessary, it IS, because trust me, if you blow it off one too many times, it really does offend your guests. So much about this entire thing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’m not even going to expect a thank you card afterward because that’ll just probably be one more courtesy that they’ll do away with. There’s a reason etiquette exists; you don’t want your wedding to put people off so badly that they find it hard to be really happy for you because you’ve just been aggressively offensive about how you’ve gone about things. It’s your wedding, but just have some consideration for your guests!