(Closed) This is why etiquette doesn’t always work…

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

omg, that is awful! If she had spent even a DAY on here, or even read one tiny part of a wedding etiquette book…

so sorry to hear that! :-/

Post # 4
Member
3358 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Why would she put everyone else’s name but not yours and just assume that you would magically KNOW that you were invited.

Post # 5
Member
3214 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ugh, how frustrating!!  Just know that you are in the right, and your cousin is in the wrong.  That probably doesn’t help much, but it’s true.

Post # 8
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If my name is not on the invite and I didn’t receive an invite, then I would also assume that I wasn’t invited. That’s not your fault, that’s her fault for not officially inviting you.

I think guest lists often cause a lot of tension in one way or another.

Post # 9
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Your cousin should have know better! This is just in general, but I hate it when people say “and family” and think that covers a grown adult that hasn’t lived at home in 10 years!

Post # 11
Member
2637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Corilee13:wow that is crazy. don’t take it personally, and don’t let it bother you (even though she is family,) cuz you do not need people like that (who cannot admit when THEY made a huge mistake!) in your life!

Post # 12
Member
3214 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Dude, how old is she?!  She sounds like she’s 17.

Maybe you could photocopy some of the million advice columns about how you can’t come if you’re not invited and mail them to her. 😛

Post # 13
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ugh, that’s frustrating. Too bad you missed the wedding. But, I agree it’s your cousin’s fault. It’s basic etiquette. I’m no etiquette expert, but I even know that. And honestly, it’s also basic common sense. Hopefully, someone will explain everything to her so she doesn’t stay mad at you for much longer.

Post # 14
Member
3132 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@mightywombat:  17?  You’re giving her far too much credit.  I knew about invitations at 17.  She might be twelve.

Post # 15
Member
30388 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Etiquette works. Your cousin didn’t do any work to find out what etiquette dictates in the area of wedding invitations.

It was ridiculous of her to assume you knew you were invited when you haven’t lived at home for 5 years.

 

Post # 16
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ugh, what a joke. I’m so sorry your cousin is being unreasonable and had made such an assumption that she now is turning against you! Perhaps you can write her an apology for the circumstance/misunderstanding because in such terms, you are not owning any responsibility for the situation but rather, just stating your regret for the miscommunication. Come time to send out your invitations, you can school her by example and have your invitations clearly marked. It may take her some time to recognize the silliness of her assumption (heat of the moment kind of thing as her wedding was recent, yes?) or she may not ever recognize it, but you will at least have done the work to make amends in a mature way…another quality she could stand to learn from you. 😉 Good luck!

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