(Closed) This isn’t fun anymore.

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

I’m just in the beginning stages of planning our wedding next year, and I’m already thinking about a million things.

If it wasn’t for our family, Fiance and I would book a flight to Hawaii tomorrow and get married.  

Post # 18
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Valertia I totally understand your stress. There has been so much fighting. I can handle fighting with my parents, I can handle fighting with his parents, but I can’t handle fighting with Fiance over this wedding. We are finally getting through it after 2 weeks of tension and almost postponing the wedding.

Your plan on focusing on the after-wedding stuff for awhile is a good one. Hang in there!

Post # 19
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My wedding is a little over 2 years out (can’t nail down a definite date yet) but my Fiance and I have written out guest list, set our budget and have strated to research vendors, and I can fully understand what you mean. Sometimes my Fiance thinks it’s pointless to research vendors this early, my mother feels she should be given 5+1’s to invite her friends and friends of her BF so yeah I can only imagine what my life will be like when I’m as close to my date as you are.

Try to relax and take a small break from anything wedding related. I hope things get better for you. (((hugs)))

Post # 20
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You know, I have the opposite situation going on here. My mother has not even tried to be part of the wedding planning or given any suggestions. I have planned it all myself with help from a friend and my sister.  I would think my mom would be excited and would want a part of it,  

I guess I could consider myself lucky.   

Post # 21
Member
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Its sad, but it really seems to be the norm.   I’m walking down the aisle for the first time at 47.  I’ve cried more planning this wedding than I think I have in my whole life.   I don’t get why people have to be so difficult and unsupportive.  I ask Fiance monthly if we can elope.

Post # 22
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

AMEN!!!!!!!! ::hug:: We’re 6 months away from the wedding and I am already feeling what you are feeling. I am trying to be as polite and helpful to everyone as I can be but I feel overwhelmed, underappreciated and frustrated. 

Good luck on the last two months and congratulations!!

Post # 23
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am so DONE with this wedding!  (Please pardon my vent happy brides – I’m very stressed out right now…)

I have 30 days to go & I’ll be glad to be done with this.  And this is my advice to anyone just starting to plan & you’re thinking “Do I have the money to throw around for a wedding?”:  I should have stuck to my guns & eloped.  I don’t handle stress well – I’m not timid, but, I can easily be overwhelmed, especially considering I am the bread-winner in our relationship.  So, no, I don’t get to dream on a pink marshmellow fluff cloud – I get to be the little rain cloud of doom & gloom, because all I see is cost and waste and how it goes against my morals & beliefs.  But, my in-laws offered us $3k for the wedding.  (My family didn’t have the money & I knew that and planned for “what happens when your wedding budget is $0” scenario.  And I would have been much happier & less worried that’s for sure.  But, you can’t plan a wedding in Dallas without it being a social event, because, GASP! the neighbors might know you aren’t rolling in it.)

I NEVER planned for nor wanted a fairy-tale princess wedding & if I hear the words “it’s your day”, “do what YOU want”, or anything else all along those lines, I seriously will cause someone bodily harm.  See, the thing is, I KNOW I have nice taste.  Scratch that – I know I have EXPENSIVE taste.  BUT, I also know that I don’t have the money to have the elaborate affair.  So, I like things to be simple when I can’t get what I want. 

I am not one for entertaining everybody and their sister’s-cousin’s-brother-in-law’s-hairdresser’s-dog sitter.  I wanted a small wedding with my immediate family & close friends, but, my soon-to-be husband and his family have to make everything into a production.  I love my husband and soon to be in-laws, but, I’ll be glad when this dog & pony show will be over.   I just hope I don’t suffer a nervous breakdown before May 12th.

Post # 25
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Chardew:  Ditto!!! //  I’m 5 mos. away and I have done absolutely nothing.  It also didn’t help that we only decided 2 weeks ago to plan a Sept. wedding.  I absolutely feel your pain!

Post # 26
Member
2315 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have heard this happens to a lot of people and I don’t doubt it will happen to me. I agree with taking a break from it all for a while, but just remember that in the end the work and planning and stress will be worth it. 

You’re almost there!

Post # 27
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am in the exact same situation as you! I am constantly fighting with my parents about the wedding. They get mad and fight with me when I have an opinion about my own wedding, but when I don’t have an opinion or don’t care about stupid little things, they get mad at me again! I can’t win. And me and my Fiance have been fighting the last couple days too. Not only is this wedding stressful for me but we are in a LDR which is stressful for both of us. On top of that, he has been living away from his family and friends for 2 years now so that is adding to his irritability. I cannot wait for this wedding to be over and to move on with our lives!

Post # 28
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Chardrew  ohhhh this made me laugh. These are the words I used at family dinner lastnight so reading them through you just made me laugh. Fiance has been good and reminding me that we are actually getting married that is the important part. Right now just completely over it. I’m taking the advice and going to have a long bath while my boy cooks me dinner! I wonder with 4 weeks to go if I can have 2 wedding free days. Heres to trying!

Post # 29
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I know exactly what you mean! My family is always doing the same thing, and its made Fiance & I fight a couple of times because I listen to them too much and I want to keep everyone happy, but no more of that! Now we just stick to what WE want and everyone else just has to suck it up and deal with it, after all it is our wedding. You do the same 🙂 Just hang in there, it will get here before you know it. No more fighting with Fiance, just relax takes some days off to free your mind and when family wants to give you “advice” let it come in one ear, and out the other.

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