- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
I know I am relatively new here, but I just need a place to vent where it won’t emotionally impact someone.
I am on cloud nine to be engaged, but… it’s just not what I imagined life with a Fiance would be. I know that everyone has unrealistic expectations of what engaged/married life will be, and I’ve been trying to be realistic, but there’s so many bad/depressing things that have happened to us recently that I just… part of me is so disappointed. This is my life and it’s… kind of not what I want.
Some backstory: My Fiance is a lawschool graduate, and I supported him all throughout his taking the bar (twice, it was really emotional and I had to really push him to take it the second time to follow his dreams even though it was hard). I also supported him for about 6 months while he was job hunting. This racked up a lot of debt, and put a lot of stress on me, but I love him, and I wanted to support his dream.
He did get a job, and things were ok for a while. But they never gave him the salary they promised him, strung him along, didn’t train him AT ALL (which, if you know how courts work, is deeply embarrassing because judges are merciless about mistakes), and generally were jerks to him. Eventually, after a year and a half, they laid him off.
Now, he’s depressed, working a non-lawyer job that I can tell demoralizes him, and keeps getting turned down for job after job because firms are suspicious about his layoff. He’s in peices about his dream falling apart.
I’m trying to stay strong, but I’m SO stressed dealing with the fallout of the debt we racked up while I supported him on his job search. I’m starting to resent his constant depressed episodes, and getting depressed myself while wondering if this relationship was even meant to be (the universe seems pretty intent on crapping on us).
Thoughts? Smacks upside the head? Thank you for letting me vent. I just need someone to talk to. I’m so demoralized and feel like I’m missing out on what is supposed to be a joyous part of my life.