(Closed) This isn’t worth an argument, right?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
  • poll: worth it?
    yep. stick to your guns. it's your wedding : (11 votes)
    24 %
    it's probably not worth it. you likely won't notice they are there : (33 votes)
    72 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @MrsDrRose612:  “The mother of these 4 children is quite insane and refuses to go anywhere without her kids (they also live out of town, so it’s more difficult for her to leave them in their town and travel here).  She’s one of my favorite cousins and her kids are super well behaved, so we made an exception and invited her younger two.”

    I’m already confused – who is the mother of the 4 children?  Your favorite cousin who is also insane?

    Post # 4
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I totally understand your frustration about them addding the kids in when they were invited.  However, honestly, it doesn’t seem like it should cause an issue.  It sounds like your space will allow them room to play without getting in the way.

    I’m not sure why you dislike these particular kids but I think it may be best to just allow them to come unless you’re really willing to create an issue with the parents/your cousins.  It always gets tough when you allow some children but not others.

    Post # 5
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @MrsDrRose612:  “Is this worth the fight?? I want to put up one so badly because this was the first thing we were adamant about…no kids.  But now I feel like I’ve opened up a door by having a 3.5 y/o flower girl and allowing the 1.5 y/o child of my cousins.  I hate this.”

    The flower girl can be the exception – allowing the 1.5 year old definitely opened the door up for other people with kids.  I am with you in that I do not want kids at my wedding, but I am not making ANY exceptions.  Once you make one exception like that, you’re going to irritate a lot of people that you don’t make the exceptions for.  It needs to either be NO kids at all with no exceptions, or allowing kids.  Can’t have it both ways.

    Post # 6
    2849 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think that you making an exception for your cousin already put you in a bad place. If you’re going to have a no kids rule, it has to apply to everyone. It’s not fair that one cousin gets to bring her child, but the other cousin can’t. 

    Post # 7
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would have said stick to your guns if the only kid there was the flower girl. We did that for our wedding…no kids with the exception of the kids in the wedding party obviously. When you opened it up to your cousin’s kids, that means that you’re starting to pick and choose who you want there, and it’s harder to use the defense of, “We’re not having any kids.” As soon as the other cousin gets there, she’s going to be pretty angry when she sees a child who isn’t part of the bridal party there. I say this isn’t worth the fight. As annoying as it is, you’re going to really p*ss off some family members…and it’s over one extra kid being there.

    Post # 9
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @MrsDrRose612:  I just thought it was funny that you said she was insane, but also your favorite cousin! 😉

    Post # 10
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee

    ugh, family pressure can be terrible. It sounds to me like if these children show up they are going to be a bit of a nusance and there is nothing worse than a great night ruined by someone elses screaminig child, If these other children were well behaved I would say include them but it sounds like they might not be, in that case stick to your guns.  If it were me I would try the broken record method as suggested by another bee.

    just practice the line ‘Im sorry it isn’t possible’… over and over and over again

    ….but they really won’t eat much

    “Im sorry it isnt possible”

    …They will sit on my lap and not use a chair

    “Im sorry it isn’t possible”

    …insert lame random excure here

    “Im sorry it isn’t possible”

    Post # 11
    5296 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    ugh, that’s tough but I think you have to let it go. You’ve made a couple other exceptions, and from the way I’m reading it, only one of her four kids wouldn’t be invited? I feel like it’s going to cause a lot more drama to try to exclude one of her kids vs. letting them tag along with the other three.

    Post # 12
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @Bichon Frise:  I agree…

    Not letting the 1 child come is going to make it seems as if you’re playing favourites and that is probably not going to go down very well with your family – I know it wouldn’t in mine…

    Post # 14
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Normally I’m Captain Stick-To-Your-Guns when it comes to people trying to invite their kids to your wedding, but in this case it might be a bit hard for your guests to understand your rules (no one under 5 except the FGs) since 5 is kind of a strange cut off age (usually for weddings it’s higher, like 12).  In this case, it might be better to just let it go, but it is 100% up to you and your Fiance.

    Post # 15
    1643 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I don’t have kids…  but if I HAD a kid that was not invited to the wedding I’d think fair enough….  but then if I saw there were other kids of a similar age there I’d be annoyed.

    I can understand your annoyance, but I think you have to let it slide.

    Post # 16
    2321 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I had kids at my wedding of ALL ages. And the ratio of kids to adults was very, VERY close. I am talking less than 10 yrs old!

    And you know what, I barely even noticed ANY of them!!!! They were all busy playing with each other in the corner or in the lobby and were completely OUT OF SIGHT for the most part. Even in my wedding video you only see glimpses of them. It’s so weird! Cuz all they are concerned with his playing. And they felt that us adults were a nuisance so they stayed out of our hair and we stayed out of theirs. lol!

    The parents just checked up on’ em and fed them etc. That’s abt it. And EVERYONE had fun. I think ppl were also relaxed and happy knowing that their kids are RIGHT THERE. And best of all, I cut a deal witht he banquet facility to charge me next to nothing for kids. And the kids really didn’t eat at all. They were too concerned with just playing games with each other.

    My hubby’s nephew is the most annoying kid on the planet and he practically tried to break my cupcake stand ($150 deposit’s worth!) but that was at the end of the reception and I took care of it immediately. I really doubt you will have any kids like this one. He is a f**kin’ nightmare to put it nicely. Hahahaha!

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