(Closed) This lovely economy…. Should we relocate?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

So far it is just promising leads on possible positions, right?  Let him go on the interviews and find out as much information as he can about the areas, including cost of living and activities/community for people your age, among other things.  Then if/when he receives offers, you have more information to go on.

Post # 5
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Agreed. Go on the interviews (maybe go with him) and scope it out. Also keep in mind that if these positions are in NYC or LA, the cost of living could eat up the pay increase! (Not that Chicago is cheap by any stretch of the imagination!)

Post # 6
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

@HotPinkFire: My family of origin moved states multiple times (including cross country) for my dad’s job when I was growing up.  We ended up finding a place that fit our family perfectly that happened to be away from both families.  And I moved states to go to college, for my current job, and when I got married.  So to me, moving isn’t a huge deal for a fantastic job.  If it’s a good job that can support you both, and is stable, then I would seriously consider it.  I’ve loved living all over the country, and while it can be a little rough at first getting settled and meeting new people, there’s definitely things I really like about everywhere I’ve lived.  I will say that leaving your family can be tough, especially if you’re considering starting a family.  However, a move doesn’t have to be forever.  Hubby and I frequently discussed how much fun it would be to live someplace else for a few years early in our marriage – like to get a cool apartment in a big city and just have a totally different lifestyle for awhile…but alas we never did.  Good luck making your decision, whatever it may be! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I guess this would be a time to sit down and decide what is imortant to you. You plan on having kids, do want to be in driving distance of Grandparents or are you ok having to fly. How much work would it take to get your license in these other states. Do you own or rent now? There are so many things to really break down, but if the offer were good enough I would go for it, maybe his comany would be able to help with relocation.

Post # 10
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I understand excatly how you feel. I thought I was going to get a job offer in Boston and that I was going to have to leave my family.

Something I had to keep reminding my self is…NOTHING IS PERMANENT. I kept having flashbacks to the awful 4 months I spent in Arkansas by myself for school. But at the end of the day, in 2 years when the market picked up I could move closer to home and pick up great experience along the way. Needless to say I didn’t get that position, but 6 mths later picked up and moved to Dallas and we couldn’t be happier.

It may help to think of it as a temporary solution to a temporary problem. The job market right now sucks, and in a few years it will pick back up and your husband can start searching closer to where your “home” is. But in the mean time you both can gain valuable experience making you both stronger prospects for when the market picks back up.

Hope This Helps

Post # 11
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

If he gets the job, I would 100% relocate.  I have lived all over the country and I think it is a good experience, whether or not it is always a “perfect” experience.  I definitely think it is worth it for a job in your field, if local housing is affordable and the salary is decent- I always look into those comparisons- but if you are coming from Chicago, you should be fine almost anywhere.  I would way out what you want out of your life and what is important, but I do think it is worth it and you will learn a lot about yourself.  You will learn you will be okay no matter what happens.  If living near your family is of utmost importance then maybe it outweighs the job- but I think that kind of life experience is worth it.

Post # 12
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Say your husband got a great paying job in the field he wants that also covered relocation costs. Where would that leave you? Would it have to be a good enough job so that you’re not again scraping by on one paycheck? How important is proximity to family to you? To your husband?

That’s only a question you and your husband can answer.

For my husband and I it’s def important to be near family. We both agree we can’t move somewhere where there is no family nearby say like an hours drive max. That’s just not how we want to raise our kids. Family is super important to us. It already drives me crazy I only see mine 2-3 times a year. It took us probably a good 4 years to firmly decide we were going to settle down in our current city where his family is as oppose to where my family is. And many factors came into play. Is it a city we want to raise our kids in? Cost of living vs pay? Proximity to family? How are the schools? The fact that *I* have a really good stable job played largely into us staying in our current city as well. But for us family proximity was numero uno and the only two options were near his or mine.

But I know for many it’s no biggie to be far away from family and self suffice in a new city. Whatever works for you two!

Post # 15
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Well, you can put things on a scale… will your part time job be more stable than your husband’s work in Texas? I honestly would advise you to relocate. Family is always close no matter how far they are. My sister just moved from CA to NY and she was really sad but we were so happy for her that she forgot about her sadness. There’s skype, phones, chat etc. and besides you will have your husband by your side. I know you will have to give up your job but once one person is stable the other one can hang on. That is what marriage is for! 🙂 good luck

Post # 16
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

What sort of industry are you in? Is there a market for you in Texas? Is telecommuting an option for your current job?

 

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