Post # 1
So first off, let me start this by saying that I have nothing but respect for my future Mother in Law. I adore my fiance’s family and treasure family in general.
Here is my problem. Since we have gotten engaged my future in laws have not shown much interst in the wedding or any wedding planning details. Luckily for us my parents and sister are so excited and have been our support all along. I know his parents like me and are happy that we are getting married, so I just figured that weddings weren’t there ‘thing’. Fair enough.
We very happily sent off our wedding invitations just over a week ago . My Mom was there all along helping with options and gathering addresses etc. She even came over to help address and stamp them. Since they went out we have received numerous calls, emails and texts from people saying how nice they looked and how excited about the wedding they were. We never heard a word from his parents about whether or not they had received theirs (odd, no?).
Last night my fiance called his Mother to see if they had received it and what she thought of it. Her response was very negative and sad in my opinion.
She was upset that we did not include his parents name on the invite. We went for the traditional wording “Brides parents invite you to the wedding of their daughter to…”She never expressed any excitment about receving her sons wedding invitation. My parents have very graciously offered to pay for a large amount of the wedding. His parents like I said earlier, NEVER ask anything about the wedding or details and have not offered to help in any way (time wise or financially).
This makes me so sad, because I tried to involve my future Mother-In-Law when we were looking at invitation samples and she didn’t seem to want anything to do with it.
I am left feeling sad and frustrated….This is supposed to be a happy occasion and I feel as if his parents just want to find fault in everything.
I forgot to mention that his family were all sent invitations to my bridal shower but did not attend as they felt it was too far of a drive.
What do I do bees????
So sorry for the long post.
Post # 3
honestly – stop trying. You can’t win with some people.
Post # 4
@GroovyHippieChick: This exactly!
My Mother-In-Law didn’t come to my shower- didn’t even acknowledge it.
Post # 5
You can’t control what other people do or say, but you can control your reaction.
These people are who they are and they are not going to change.
They are not hosting the wedding- you and your parents are, so it should come as no surprise to them that their names are not on the invitation.
They couldn’t bother to make the drive for your shower. How supportive is that?
Sounds like you are going to have to learn to deal with the fact that sometimes there wll be no pleasing them. Even given the opportunity to discuss the invitations, the Future Mother-In-Law had no input. Some people just like to criticize after the fact.
Post # 6
Some people are just miserable in general, so they walk the planet projecting their negativity onto others. Don’t let them drag you down.
I agree with @GroovyHippieChick:. Stop trying. Don’t contact them. Surround yourself with people who are genuinely happy and excited for you.
Post # 7
I’m sorry! I would feel hurt too after putting all that time and effort into my invitations.
My Future Brother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law (married couple) haven’t said ONE word to me since Fiance and I have gotten engaged. No facebook message, no nothing. I guess they don’t really care about me joining the family.
As other PPs stated you just can’t win with some people. Just surround yourself with the people that are excited and happy for you and know that youv’e tried with the future in laws as much as you can.
Post # 8
Thanks everyone for your comments! I know that I won’t change them. I just wish they would stop making things so difficult instead of just being happy that their son is happy and getting married soon!
I felt the same about them being upset with their names not being on their sheepshead. I felt it took alot of nerve! I would not have been opposed to having them on there if they were contributing and showing interest. But they can’t have their cake and eat it too, right?
Anyway, I choose to focus on the happy…I’M GETTING MARRIED!!!! We have lots of friends and family that are over the moon for us. That is what I will focus on.
Thanks for lifting my spirits!
Post # 9
You just can’t please people like that…..
Post # 10
For everyone saying they didn’t bother to “lift a finger” for the wedding, they’re the ones who made, birthed, and raised the groom. I didn’t know that space on invitations was only for “sponsors”. It’s not the side of a race car, after all.
But what’s done is done. Not much you can do about it now.
Post # 11
You have already tried, that is more than they can say.
Post # 12
@HeathenSwan: The names of the hosts go on the invitations. Her parents are hosting the event. Hence, their names go on the invitation. It doesn’t even need the be the name of a parent. Say some rich uncle funded your wedding. Your invitation should read:
Mr. Moneybags McGee requests the honor of your presence at the wedding of
B and G
And who cares if they gave birth to the groom some twenty or so years ago? That doesn’t change the fact that they’re unsupportive and have a shitty attitude about his wedding.
Post # 13
@LR2012: Mr. Moneybags McGee
Haha. that made me laugh out loud.This is what we were going for though. My parents are hosting, therefore their names are on the invite
@HeathenSwan: Just to add a bit more to this, I understand that his parents did all the raising of him and I am very grateful! I feel that this is a seperate issue. I am most sad about how unhappy they seem about this wonderful new chapter that their son is starting. They have not been involved!
Like I said I (and my fiance) have tried to include them without success.
Post # 14
I would simply tell the in-laws it is traditional for the hosts’ names to go on the invites and leave it at that. They will get over it, or not. If they don’t, quite frankly, that’s their problem, not yours.
Post # 15
Maybe this will the kick in the butt they needed to get more involved. Don’t sweat it. If they try to be more involved in the future I would try to welcome that as much as possible but don’t feel bad about the invitations!
Post # 16