This makes or breaks the relationship, I'm freaking out?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I gave in to situations 5 years ago that I wouldn’t give in to now and I’m over 40.  I wasn’t ‘less than’ 5 years ago, just chose my battles differently.  Maybe you won’t respect him anymore.  Maybe you expect him to defend you against them? Not sure on the details of course, but only you can decide.

Post # 4
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee

What does he say about this situation? Perhaps you don’t have all the details? Maybe what he ends up doing IS how he defines “standing up for what’s right.” Why do you think that something a person does today means that you know what he will do in the future? Do you REALLY think that people do exactly the same things after 50 years of living? Are you aware that sometimes “bending” is actually the strongest thing a person can do, that stubborn people are sometimes the most cowardly? 

Obviously, no one can guide you very well without more details, but I understand if you’d prefer not to give them. Nevertheless, your post suggests that you haven’t the wisdom to work through this problem, so it would behoove you to slow down and take a closer look at the matter. 

Post # 6
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

mindzoo :  sometimes letting someone who treated you wrong back into your life is the strongest thing someone can do.  It’s saying I’m okay, I know who I am, you can’t hurt me anymore and I can prove that to you and everyone else by letting the hurt go.

Post # 8
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

mindzoo :  As the others have mentioned standing up to people isn’t always necessary or better, if you want specific advice you’ll have to elaborate more on the situation. What do you think he needs to stand up to, what is happening with the ex?

Post # 10
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee

It depends on what the situation is. My Fiance doesn’t like confrontations and doesn’t see the need to confront people about some situations that I would have. 

I don’t see it as a big deal because a) he doesn’t disagree when I choose to “stand up” to people, actually he’s grateful that I seem very good at that kind of stuff. And b) I don’t need him to stand up for me, I can stand up for myself if I see the need to.

Depending on what this particular situation is, it might be not that big a deal to some? However if you find it unacceptable, I would say you’re probably incompatible. 

Post # 11
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

mindzoo :  In what way do you feel he needs to stand up for his rent situation? Does he agree with you?

Post # 12
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I think you should break up with him. Sorry but I remember your previous threads and I’m not really sure why you’re still with him at this stage. 

Post # 14
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

mindzoo :  Again, you have posted on a public forum presumably for some sort of input. If you want input on the situation you will have to elaborate other wise just delete your post if it was just a vent. 

Post # 15
Member
2797 posts
Sugar bee

We’ve been telling you for a year this isn’t the guy for you. 

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