Post # 1
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
Hey there Bees!
I am so very shy and this would count as my first post on these boards. I have enjoyed reading the wonderful advice and seeing the incredible support you guys give each other!
I will try to keep this short.
I had three bridesmaids. One of them is a girl I have known for 20 years. Our relationship is weird. We have always been close but there are years where we don’t communicate as much as others (life is busy sometimes.) Anyway we were both married this year and we were in each others weddings.
She was married before me, and most of the girls in her party were new friends she had met within the last 5 years, and one of those girls was chosen as her Maid/Matron of Honor. That doesn’t bother me, I was finishing my last semester iof college and had too much on my plate as it was.
Anyway, fast forward to after her wedding and about four months before mine. I posted 5 or 6 of my engagement pictures, I tried not to overload Facebook, I know people hate that. My friends Maid/Matron of Honor deleted me from facebook shortly after I added these photos. Again, didn’t bother me, girls are snarky strange creatures and I attributed it to that.
Fast forward to the present. I am married (yay!) it was a wonderful occassion and my friend was a wonderful help during the wedding. After the wedding however, she has been distant, and honestly hasn’t had shit to say to me. What has upset me, and again I know this sounds juvenile, is that this weekend she threw a huge Christmas party, a tacky Christmas sweater party. She invited tons of people, including everyone in her bridal party. Everyone except for me that is. Now as stated previously her Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t like me. That could have been the reason why i didn’t get an invite but who knows?
I guess you are never too old to get your feelings hurt and honestly I am just down right angry.
I haven’t said anything to her, (i am not a fan of confrontation.)
Has anyone else had this issue with bridesmaids after the wedding process?
Post # 3
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
Sounds to me that her MOh may be a little jealous of your friendship, and could be trying to drive a wedge. I would just talk to your friend about it- not in a confrontational way, but just say “I feel we’ve become a bit distanced since the wedding, and I don’t want to lose our friendship, so I just wanted to let you know how important you are to me and ask if there’s anything I can do to make sure everything is alright between us?”? And be sure not to mention anything about her Maid/Matron of Honor, as that could rub her the wrong way and give her the wrong impression of why you are talking to her. Make sure you emphasise that it’s because you feel your friendship together is important. Honesty is the best policy 🙂
Post # 4
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
@TheLawrenceBride: I appreciate that. I know when i say it outloud it sounds so childish, but it hurt my feelings. That is good advice! I won’t mention anything about her Maid/Matron of Honor, I can see how that might not be appropriate. Thanks again 🙂
Post # 5
Member
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@TheOkieWifey: Did something happen between you and her MOH? It seems strange that she would delete you just for posting engagement photos. I agree with TheLawrenceBride, talk to your friend and just be honest.
Post # 6
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
@TheOkieWifey: It’s not childish or juvenile to get your feelings hurt. It’s how you react to them that can be mature or juvenile. So far, it sounds pretty mature to me.
Just for perspective: I randomly texted a friend last night asking if she would make it to our Christmas party next weekend. She had no idea what I was talking about…because I forgot to invite her on Facebook. It happens and luckily I caught it this time, but if I hadn’t texted her, she may have gotten her feelings hurt. Try and keep that in mind when you talk to her. It could have been accidental instead of intentional.
Post # 7
Member
1886 posts
Buzzing bee
@TheOkieWifey: that isn’t childish – it is very hurtful not to be invited when everyone else is. If you aren’t good at confrontation, would you consider writing a short email and just ask?
Post # 8
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
@housebee: My friend told me that her Maid/Matron of Honor is highly jealous because her Fiance won’t set a date for their wedding. Other then that, not quite sure why she doesn’t like me. I never asked my friend about it because I didn’t want to put her in a bad spot.
@thenewmrsmax: I will keep that in mind! It is just so strange to me, we have been distant before but this time it is as if I have done something. I know I haven’t but one can only wonder after the way she is acting. I appreciate your perspective!
@nightborn: I would consider that. I feel like it would be a more effective way to get my point across. I thought I would just ignore it and get over it, but honestly I am having a hard time doing that. Putting it in writing and confronting her will probably make me feel better and savae a relationship before it gets out of hand. Thanks for the advice!
