(Closed) This morning I found out my boyfriend has no interest in getting married. =,(

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
18 posts
Newbee

 While I agree with the basics of what you ladies are saying here, I want to offer a different perspective. I am married to a man 5 years younger than me and he proposed at 24 without any nagging, prompting, or “waiting” after 1.5 years of dating. I was shocked because I didn’t expect it to happen for years and I wanted to give him as much time as he needed, and told him so.

I agree that perhaps my husband is the exception, but stereotypes about how grown men in their 20s are all immature are a little tiresome. Every man is different and if you love someone you make compromises for one another equally. Also, four years is not a large age gap and no would be saying that if the ages were reversed. I can’t say what the OP should do, and every relationship is so individual and subjective. But all I can say is that I am incredibly happily married. 

Post # 32
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Ironwoods Beach, Maui

Just wanted to add that finding your spouse /lifetime partner is more than just finding Mr. Right.  It’s about Mr. Right at the Right Time.  Sometimes two people are in different places in their lives and want different things and so even though they might have been compatible they just aren’t because it’s the wrong time.  In 2010, I met a WONDERFUL guy that I dated very casually off and on for about a year.  I think I might have been very happy marrying him someday but I was just recently divorced and not wanting to marry in near future.  He had been divorced several years and was ready to find a partner.  So we weren’t compatible and agreed to just be friends.  In 2013 he found a woman (who actually was a friend of mine, oddly enough) and they were very happy together and married in 2014.  I wasn’t able to get back into the seriously dating scene until late 2014 and finally met my Fiance in 2015 and now it’s right.

ETA:  To sum up:  It’s more about timing in my opinion and less about age.  Agree with PP about some guys in their 20’s ARE ready for marriage and some guys in their 30s/40s still aren’t!

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