- 8 years ago
Mr. F and I have been together for a year now, and are very happy in a loving relationship that is the culmination of 3 long years getting us here. We are carbon copies, and our flaws are perfectly matched in each other. He understands my neurotic behaviors like no one else, and loves and cares for me above all others. So what’s the problem you ask…my family.
A little over a year ago I made a big life change and got out of a 4 year committed relationship. I packed my things and moved home from a life in which I was very unhappy. My ex is by no means a bad person, but I had come to the realization that we did not want the same things for our future. He was very work oriented and the idea of a marriage or a family were not things he had given any consideration to even after 4 years together. So I packed my things, took a deep breath, and made a change that has brought me to this wonderful happy place in my life. When I moved home, although my family had accepted my decision they did not completely agree with it. My ex had a good job, made very good money, and as far as they were concerned I was set up for a secure life. I grew up in a wealthy environment where virtually everything was done for me. Although this is a blessing, it has also been a crutch as my family did not prepare me for what the real world was really like. At 18 they turned me loose into the world without any preparation. I had never done laundry, mowed a yard, had my oil changed. I was spoon-fed and has taken me a very long time to become the very independent and self-sufficient person I am today.
Shortly after I moved home my relationship with Mr. F cultivated and we were nearly inseperable from the very beginning. Mr. F told me he loved me with his whole heart (swoon) on our third date, and a month later we signed the lease on our first apartment. Things moved so quickly, but after years of feeling unloved and dissatisfied the true feelings of love and a best friend all in one was so wonderful I felt no reason to hold back. And right in the middle of my love fest I got my first wrench, mom and pop do not approve. Mr. F is in the auto industry and does custom paint and body on cars. He is now at 27 years old deciding to go back to school for his mechanical engineering degree. In mom and dad’s eyes, he is a far cry from the previous suitor, and not up to par financially. They don’t understand the goodness I see in him, and haven’t taken the time to get to know him. It hurts me so bad, because the close relationship I have with my boyfriend has come at the cost of the relationship with my family. They involve me in very little of their lives anymore, and it hurts knowing the decision to essentially disown your own daughter came at the price of her happiness. They are still friendly to me, but do not acknowledge Mr. F’s existence as a part of my life.
I am blessed with a man that understands the stress this situation has put on me. And instead of being angry or hurt (which I am sure he is) he spends the majority of the time consoling me, which I might add is a full-time job these days. We are so deeply in love, and know without a doubt that this relationship has been coming for so long. God blessed our broken roads to bring us together. We want to get married, but how can we plan an engagement, a wedding, and a life with a surrounding family that doens’t agree with our choices? We want nothing more than to begin planning a wedding for next summer, as soon as we are engaged of course, but how do we combat the defense we get from my side of the road? This should be the happiest time of my life, a time where a daughter calls her mother in tears because of a beautiful ring on her finger, a time in my life where my mother helps me choose a dress, and where my father walks me down the aisle to the man I call my companion, soul mate and best friend. How can I be happy and celebrate those things when no one is happy for me?