Post # 1
I know. I know. This sounds delusional but has anyone found that their person actually spoke less and less about marriage as a proposal approached? From the holidays up through a couple weeks ago we just had a cluster of big moments (holidays, birthdays, a professional award, valentine’s day) and at each occasion and some seemingly plain ones in between he took the opportuity to tell me he loved me in forever-type way. Whether it was “I want to spend all our holidays together” or “I hope we take a million naps together over our lives.” Now, with a trip coming up in a couple weeks he’s talking less about marriage specifically than he had. The cute/weird nap comment was still only a week ago, but still, it’s just been a little less straight-up “when we” type talk than we had been having. I’m hesitant to ask more directly because I don’t want to ruin what he may have planned, if anything. Also, it’s a little hard to explain but he’s been pretty vague about exact plans for the trip (I know location and one activity, but I’ve been asking so I can bring activities etc and he keeps getting off the topic quickly) and I am reading a little into that, again: maybe in a delusional way. So, does anyone have any thoughts they could share on what I’ve shared? Or tips for managing this anxious-excited feeling without taking away from something that may be very special to him (a suprise). He’s a very romantic person so that’s why I think a suprise is so important to him.
Also, for background we discussed timeline about a year ago and again (he brought it up the seond time) about 6 months ago, we’re still within what I shared was my preferred timeline that he said felt good to him too. And not that it definitely matters (I’m sure this doesn’t always mean anything is happening soon) but this past fall he asked to borrow one of my rings. He said he wanted to have it on him for an important test. And he returned it about a week later.
Post # 2
Hahaha and that ring also just happens to fit your left ring finger? It definitely sounds like it could be coming soon but just repeat the word “patience” over and over in your mind while you’re waiting. I had to actively try to not bring it up in those few months leading up to it because once I had the sense that he was really going to do it, it was ALL I wanted to talk about. Honestly, getting off the Bee for a little bit helped. But I would also just set the goal for myself every week (or start smaller, every day), to not say anything ring, wedding, baby related. Then, when he finally does say something completely on his own without any prompting, it feels so much more genuine and special because you know it was on his mind without you putting it there. Sounds like you’ve got a good one OP, zip it and keep your nails did!
Post # 3
Things sound very promising bee! Just keep quiet, make sure your nails looks nice (but don’t make it suspicious – if the surprise means a lot to him, you don’t want him to think you suspect ), and be as patient as you can. Try to distract yourself and not count on it happening during your vacation, so if it doesn’t, you’re not disappointed.
I’m excited for you!
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2019 - Queens, NY
I definitely think it’s coming. Breathe deeply and maybe find something really engrossing to occupy your mind. I’m reading a ton while I wait to see what my own boyfriend’s next move is going to be. We’ve got a huge trip coming up in April that I think *might* be it, so I’m also planning that and playing with these new watercolor brush pens I bought and working on bullet journaling a little more regularly.
Post # 5
Don’t worry, just be patient! Sounds like it’s coming
Post # 6
Oh my gosh! We leave tomorrow at noon. Trying to remind myself that what’s important is we’re in such a good place and that if things don’t go a certain way I still feel really safe and excited about the direction we are heading in. but also: eeeee! I’m excited and hopeful.
Any last minute tips of advice?
Post # 7
All the best hun. Just enjoy yourself & if it happens then it happens
Post # 8
Just focus on having the best possible time with him. That way, if it doesn’t happen, it’s still an incredible trip and if it does it’s this glowingly happy memory you get to look back on for the rest of your life.
Post # 9
Ok, so a proposal didn’t happen. But a really thoughtful and sweet conversation about our future did. We talked about what it meant to each of us to be engaged and when would be the right timefor us to get married as well as a good number of conversations about how to make the best s’mores without sticks. I feel more embarrassed than anything (I had talked with a few of my girlfriends, my mom, and my sister about how he might propose on the trip) but my friend put it best I think whenshe said “there’s nothing embarrassing about being hopeful about your relationship.” She also told me that from being around us she felt it was a “when” not an “if” thing and I feel the same, and if anything our last couple weekends (the trip and then this last one when we visited my family) solidified that.
Now, I’m kind of done guessing about when and just trying to enjoy the feeling that so much good stuffis ahead of us.
Thanks everyone who chimed in to talk this through with me! I really appreciate it.