Post # 1
while i am super happy and excited to have another person tell us that they are in fact coming to our destination wedding in Jamaica. i just found out that they may stay at a different resort! (him and his date). Its totally their choice and all, but it means i will have to pay $150 in guest passes just to get them in for the wedding! i am looking for any possible corner to cut $100 here and there as we have really stretched our budget at this point and paid for things I did not anticipate! i already vetoed out Trash the Dress pics because they were $250!
i already wrote him back and said he should do what is best for them (ie. stay somewhere else) and that we would have to get them guest passes to come in for the wedding.
since we are arranging for all our guests to eat breakfast the next day together at the resort’s buffet and these particular guests said they would want to join for breakfast did, i also explained that if they stayed somewhere else then they could not come for breakfast as would have to pay additional guest passes and i am not sure the resort would allow guests in for something other than a planned event like a wedding. i did also have it on our wedding website that everyone is invited to breakfast (and rehearsal dinner before the wedding) IF they are staying at the same resort…..so was it okay that i said that to them?
also, not sure if they will, but what if they offer to pay their own guest pass – should i say no and insist i pay?
i am just hoping they decide to stay at the same resort 🙁
Post # 3
If they say they will pay for their guest passes, then by all means, let them pay (especially if it is for breakfast the next day)! I don’t think you should have to shell our more money than necessary!
Post # 4
It’s definitely okay to not pay $150 for their breakfast :P. I think I would let them pay for theirs the day of the wedding, too, if they happen to offer.
Post # 5
Yep, I think if they’re staying at another resort they probably worked it out that it would be cheaper for them. Their choice shouldn’t necessarily cost you money.
Post # 6
I’m a little confused. So, if you friends do not stay at the same resort, you have to pay $150 each time they come to the resort and you were hoping that you would only have to do that once–for the wedding, right?
If that’s the case, I would first try to bargain with the resort and explain that you have two guests that are coming to the wedding and you’d really like them to waive the guest pass fee. I mean, you ARE hosting a wedding at their resort. If they allow this, then you can pay the $150 for your friends’ breakfast.
Also, how is the resort you are staying at priced comparatively with other resorts in the area? I’m’ asking just because it’s possible that your friend is opting to stay somewhere else to save money. If that’s the case, while it’s within your right to ask for the $150, just be sensitive to the fact that your guests are not only spending a lot of money in travel costs but also (probably) giving up vacation time from their work (and while yes, it’s not a bad rap to go to Jamaica for a wedding, Jamaica may not be their preferred destination for this year’s travel). If the friend is already strapped for cash and thereby staying somewhere cheaper, I might bite the bullet so they can attend breakfast.
It may also be that your friend, in the interest of making the most of his/her travel to Jamaica wants to make the trip more of his/her own vacation, which is why s/he is opting to stay away from your wedding party, to have a bit more privacy/autonomy/independence. That really doesn’t mean anything in terms of $150, but just an idea so you don’t get too bummed out about their not staying at your chosen resort.
Post # 7
just to clarify – i definitely told them that i will NOT pay extra for them to come to breakfast. …But i did not feel like i wanted to charge anyone to come to the wedding. so i always figured i would pay the guests passes if someone did stay somewhere else. but now that it might actually happen and my financial situation has changed significantly, it is really stressing me out!
i also already told them that “i would have to get you guest passes to come to the wedding”
i didn’t say how much. so who knows if they even think it will be a big deal.
i want to ask you bees if I COULD say something now that they need to PAY for their guest passes to come in, but in reality i don’t feel comfortable asking anyone to pay $150 to come to our wedding.
i am just wondering IF they offer to pay for their wedding guest passes, should i take it??
Post # 8
@JennyW1: my issue was really not about the breakfast. my friend said they wanted to come to the breakfast and stay somewhere else…. i replied by saying this:
“No problem about where you stay. Do what is best for you. If you stay somewhere else, we will get you and your date guest passes to come in for the wedding. However, I don’t think you would be able to come to breakfast the next day since it would require paying for more guest passes and i do not believe the resort allows guests to come in unless it is for an event like a wedding.”
(i had also written on our wedding website that everyone who is staying at the resort is invited to breakfast – but i guess they did not read that part carefull)
so i guess i will be biting the bullet and pay for the guest passes for them to come to the wedding. good idea though about asking the resort. i WILL try to negotiate getting them in for free.
as for the price of the resort i chose – i chose the cheapest quality, all inclusive resort in Jamaica. if they find somewhere cheaper, its either a crappy 2 star or not all-inclusive! that much i am sure of!
Post # 9
Okay, so you have all the breakfast stuff figured out. I think what you said is fine and I think your friends will understand.
And yes–you should NOT charge your friends the resort fee for attending the wedding (totally annoying when hotels tack on those extra fees!–I decided not to do my wedding at a resort because they were asking $60 a person in “resort fees” if people decided to stay after the official hours of the wedding–even if they were just going to hang out as temporary guests of people who were already staying at the hotel in their rooms! We didn’t feel right about being like, “Well, thanks for coming–now get off the hotel property”). But do call them–if it’s only 2 people, they might make an exception.
Post # 10
@JennyW1: thanks. my question i guess what if they OFFER to pay their guest pass? should i take it? i guess i know i shouldn’t….
my fingers are crossed they decide to stay at my resort,
Post # 11
@dynamic_duo:I would inquire about their savings at another hotel and offer to offset some of their fees for the wedding night only. I would do this in person over lunch or something. I would explain to them how expensive the passes are and how important it is to have them there. You would probably only pay half of that to help offset their room cost and they could attend breakfast too.
Post # 12
@Soladylike: i dont know, that sounds complicated to go back and forth between resorts. also they are only staying 5 nights and the wedding is in the middle. i know i wouldnt want to switch hotels for one night in the middle of my trip. and the resort we chose IS significantly cheaper than most other resorts in the area, unless i said, its a 2 star or not all inclusive. i really dont know what their reason is for staying somewhere else. i guess i will wait and see and just pay the $150 if they decide to stay elsewhere.
i hope from my last email to them that they realize it WILL cost me more money for guest passes and they decide to stay with us as a result. he did say he wanted to, but it depended on other factors – of what i am not sure….
Post # 13
Will the resort waive the guest fees? Its worth asking.
I doubt your guests understand how steep the guest fees are. If I were your guest, I’d estimate that guest fees are $20 per person not $75 per person. Its possible they have no idea how much this is costing you.
Post # 14
I also doubt your guests know about the high cost of guest passes, I would be up front and honest about that cost because I honestly think they have no idea (I was shocked by the cost!). If they offer to pay, I think I would let them. Because what if you pay for theirs and then someone else books another hotel, too? You don’t want to keep having this come up and be responsible for it.
Post # 15
I think you should try and call the resort and see if you can work something out. I would think they would be pretty accomidating to a bride, especially if you only have two guests who need passes. I hate it say this, but if you are that tight, and the resoirt won’t budge on it maybe you could email them and just let them know you got a hold of the resort and asked about the guest passes and found out it would be an extra $150 and maybe you could split the cost?
Post # 16
I don’t think you should take the money if they offer to pay for the guest fees. They have already bought plane tickets, hotel rooms (wherever they can afford), food, and other expenditures to come to your wedding. What if the guest pass fee puts them over their financial limit, since they werent expecting it? That could be a very uncomfortable situation.