(Closed) This was supposed to be fun right? Is it just me?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

awww im sorry. i think i said “isnt it supposed to be fun?” to my Fiance last night and he answered “no, it’s stressful but worth it.”  ugh. i am sooo tired of contacting vendors, dealing with everyone else’s opinions and trying to stay confident in my decisions. 🙁

Post # 4
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think everyone feels like this at somepoint. Many of us grow up with certain expectations/dreams/visions of what the process will be like, and honestly it’s so hard to tell if other people/vendors/friends whatever will be on the same page. Nobody will ever be as excited about your wedding as you, people are hard to deal with, and there are a million little things to think of that could/might go wrong.

The best thing I Can say is just take a breather when something goes wrong, and revisit it after a day or so of cooling off. if your date is accurate ish you have plenty of time, don’t rush into it 🙂

Post # 5
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Don’t let it get to you, if want a engagement party, have one, vote with your dollars at the vendors worth paying for and remind youself that after the ceremony, it’s just a party!  Anyone can throw a party, no matter what you do it will be lovely.  

Post # 6
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

 You have so much time until your wedding day to figure things out regarding venue etc. My partner doesn’t want much reponsibility to plan the wedding- which I am cool with because I like to plan and i get joy out of it. 

Post # 7
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

From what I gather watching my friends get married, this is a ‘normal’ part of the process, albeit sucky.  I am not planning a wedding…yet, but my advice to you is…

BREATHE.  Take a step back from thinking about it (in a few weeks), and do something ‘fun’ with your Fiance without talking wedding. Once you have taken a small mental break, start the process with a new outlook.

1) the frustrations with your venue, photographer, and ring are absolutely unnerving!!  I am sorry those things are not going as planned, or that there has been a communication breakdown.  With that said, deal with them one issue at a time.  Find a new venue.  Then, *see* how your photographer does with your engagement photos.  First, ensure/hope he shows up, then assess the photogs, then discuss the importance of communication for the big day.  IF, god forbid, he does NOT uphold his end of the bargain, then start the search for a new photographer, etc. 

2) Remember that 100 people is a pretty big wedding, and if nothing else, remember that having those that love you most around you on your big day is more important than the # you dreamed of having 🙂

3) Assuming that you are footing some of the bill, do what you and your Fiance want to do!!  If you want an engagement party, plan it and pay for it.  Maybe indicate you do not want gifts, as it seems people were so generous to you throughout the past year.  If you want a Destination Wedding – PLAN IT!  Make sure you and your Fiance are communicating what you each want.  Perhaps he is jaded by the process because he has been thru it, but hopefully he is just being a typical ‘man’, and does not really ‘care’ about the flowers, invites, etc.

4) Although it is hard, and sucky and sometimes unfair, please remind yourself that your day will never be as ‘important’ to others as it is for you.  I think that if yuo tell yourself that, maybe your feelings will not be as hurt when people are not as involved, or when people do not ask questions, or when people seem distracted. 

Good luck!

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