(Closed) This wedding thing is getting out of control

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you should speak up respectfully, it is YOUR wedding not hers… she’s had her day, this is your DAY! Especially if you are paying some of the costs.

Post # 4
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I agree with RoxanneV, let your Future Mother-In-Law how you feel and what you want in a respectful manner. I would also encourage your Fiance to back you up and join you when you speak to his mom. It may help her realize what you both want and realistically want to invest in the wedding. I know my Fiance has had to put his foot down with his mom regarding wedding stuff (i.e. inviting more guests than what we want) and she gets the point.

Good luck!!

 

Post # 5
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Elope. Seriously.

Ok if that doesn’t solve it, stand up for yourself and let her know what kind of vision you had for your wedding. The emphasis being on YOUR wedding. Tell her that with all due respect and appreciation for what she has helped with, you really want to do things in a way that still feels like you. Tell her that while you are very thankful for everything she has done it’s starting to feel like someone else’s wedding and making you want to run for the hills. Explain that you really WANT to include everyone but the bigger and bigger it gets it just makes you want to elope which would really be a shame because you do genuinely want to have your family and friends there. Take her out to lunch, just the two of you, and have that awkward conversation. At some point or another we all have to have an awkward conversation, but you’ll end up feeling better about it in the end. And if that STILL doesn’t get through to her, see my earlier suggestion.

Good luck.

Post # 6
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You need a couple serious chit chats.

 

First with your Fiance. This is your guys wedding first and foremost. So you need to get together and figure out what you are wanting and what you two find most important. Get on the same page. Be a team.

Then you need to sit down with the Future Mother-In-Law and together, as a team, tell her what your are invisioning for the wedding. Is she contributing money? Ask her if it comes with terms.

I think you should halt all plans and start at square one. This doesnt have to be a horrible time for you. I think it is a sign that something is out of whack.

I read the book “A practical wedding”. (Its also an awesome wedding/marriage blog) and I think it deals with some of the family issues/expectation problems.

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