(Closed) Those little etiquette rules…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

So …. what how do you respond?  Adding names? My gosh.

Post # 4
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Yikes! I hope that doesn’t happen to us! What are you going to do?? 

Post # 5
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This isn’t an etiquette my guests did, but actually the bride!

Now, most of you know I prefer the route of hand-addressing invites. But more importantly, I think hand addressing the THANK YOU notes is important. I’ve been to a few showers where they have a blank envelope at your seat for you to fill your return address, "so it saves the bride some trouble" (their words not mine). I had to use all my mouth’s strength to keep my jaw from dropping.

Post # 6
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

GaBGal, I keep reading about that one.  It’s TERRIBLE!  I’m impressed you were able to restrain your jaw.

Post # 7
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Unfortunately it was a relative, and so we’ve dealt with it three times — 2 bridal showers and 1 baby shower! We kept out mouths shut out of politeness Smile and nod, and write your address down. but its definitely not an idea my sisters plan to integrate into any of our showers.

Post # 8
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Mine is the the RSVPs too. I have had several people RSVP +6, +7, and even +10!!!  I did double envelopes, so I really do get how you though Mr and Mrs X actually meant The X family, but whatever.  I have had to call all the people to let them know not to show up with 6 univited people.  One great-aunt was so offended I was not inviting her 2 children, theirs spouses, and their children (none of which I have actually met btw) that she said she was no longer coming.  No prob buddy, one less person I have to pay for…

Post # 9
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I have some relatives who don’t realize that you really have to rsvp.  I have a fear that they will just show up.  Who knows how many people they will bring with them.  Or, I fear they will rsvp that they are coming and then decide the day of that they don’t feel like making the hour and a half drive to the wedding.  We are having a sit-down dinner, so this could be a problem.  I am not  sure how to deal with this.

Post # 10
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

On my RSVPs I make them choose their entree. I think it probably helps because sure, I can assume they’ll be coming, but I’d have no idea what they’d want to eat, and you know how much everyone loves food :p Makes them care a bit more. Luckily I haven’t had any problems yet, but we’ll see as the days wind down!

Post # 11
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

wow @ Gabgal.

I have never even heard of such a thing! I would be embarrassed. I am surprised at some of the things people think are "ok" lol.

I am such a stickler when it comes to thank you’s. I always make sure mine are out the door within a few weeks or so. I can’t believe there are people out there who never send thank you notes for gifts.

Post # 12
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’ve been to 3 weddings where I was invited as a guest, not as part of my parent’s family, and I’ve brought a gift to each. I have yet to receive a thank you note from ANY of them. That’s weird, right?

About addressing your own envelopes – that seems to me like it’s in this murky middle ground, since the hostess probably made that call. I definitely believe in hand addressing my thank you’s, but if I showed up to my shower and found out that the hostess was asking people to address envelopes, I don’t know what I’d do – it would be ungracious to intervene, right? The hostess just thinks she’s being helpful.

Post # 13
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

LOL my Future Mother-In-Law suggested the people addressing their own envelopes…. so I let her do what she wanted

I didn’t know it wasn’t proper tho….but it did save us some time!

Post # 14
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

Wow these are all pretty bad.  Personally I was surprised at how many people failed to buy a gift or even a card.  And these are people we are close friends with who live in our town! 

Post # 15
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

JennyBee – I have the same fear! A lot of friends our age (mid-20s) did not send their RSVP, and when we called them, most who hadn’t sent the RSVP said they weren’t coming. But I’m terrified if their plans change they’ll think "well now I can go to the wedding". No you can’t!

Post # 16
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I was invited to not one, but two of those "Jack and Jill" parties that are basically a fundraiser for the bride and groom to pay for their wedding. Both parties were for the same couple separated by a few months. I went to highschool with the bride, and we were aquaintances at best… we don’t talk anymore but are connected through Facebook… and I’m not invited to the wedding, obviously, nor would I expect to be. I think the only thing to make this even worse is that they are having a destination wedding! How much money do you need to raise to get married in the Domincan Republic? Really?

There is just something about any wedding-related fundraiser that rubs me the wrong way. But especially when you have two fundraising parties, and you are inviting anyone and everyone to squeeze out as much money as possible? I think it is super innapropriate to invite people you don’t even talk to ever, who are not coming to the wedding, just to make money…. ugh.

Sorry if this offends anyone, it is just my opinion, and I think totally bad etiquette! And you should be proud, I didn’t even use the "T" word!

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