Those of you who did significant pre-engagement planning – did it help?

posted 3 months ago in Married Life
Post # 2
724 posts
Busy bee

Wedding planning was not fun for me at all and caused me a boatload of stress. So I won’t be doing that if I can avoid it this go ’round. Some people love it and others find it stressful. Let your friend do what she wants to do and don’t judge her for it. 

Post # 3
760 posts
Busy bee

Shinytoy :  I did a lot of pre planning before I actually had the ring. In the end I didnt use any of the information I had gathered but it was fun and I learned a lot about pricing, how far out to plan, etc. 

I dont think its a big deal, is she knows for sure the proposal is coming and it works for her then I think its a great idea. 

Post # 4
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i knew the engagement was coming so i starting narrowing down venues.  we wanted a short engagement.  DH only wanted to be involved in food and music.  i planned the rest with my mom.  the process was very stress free and easy.


Post # 5
699 posts
Busy bee

If they’re only planning a 3 month engagement, then planning in advance seems practical. 

Post # 7
2339 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Shinytoy :  We had a short engagement of 7 months.  Obviously not as short as your friend, but we looked at venues before we officially became engaged.  We also set a budget and I had a rough guest list since I was engaged previously.  It really did make planning that much easier to have this stuff done ahead of time as opposed to starting completely from scratch.  I think it’s perfectly fine to have her stuff planned already.  Anything to keep her stress down.

Post # 8
41 posts

Shinytoy :  I did a lot of preliminary research on what things cost in general and what vendors were recommended on Wedding Wire and The Knot. Just to get a sense of budget and who to send requests for pricing to once we started planning, but I knew that I wanted a VERY short timeline.

It has not helped a lot, to be honest. In fact, most items I thought I had a good sense of pricing on, were just starting price. Particularly venues b/c I was just considering facility fee & per head food/bev costs…. once we added in premium bar, food upgrades, service charges, taxes, etc., there’s a big jump in cost. We thought we could swing it for $20k but it’s looking more like $25-28k once it’s all said & done. Which we are OK with – well, he is ok with it, I’m silently freaking out.

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