(Closed) Those of you who waited till your wedding night…

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That really is awesome that you waited, and will make your first night as husband and wife that much more memorable. It’s your wedding night, so first time or not, you want it to be romantic!! You are right that it is all about personal preference, but I would definitely recommend buying you something that you feel sexy in. If you feel sexy in it, he will definitely think you look sexy in it! Is it possible to have someone decorate the hotel room beforehand, with rose petals? Honestly though, this is the kind of thing you can’t really plan. Sure, you can say you’d rather have the lights off, but in the moment I do not think you will care. Just let go, have fun, and you know you are with a man who loves you so it will all work out.

Just stop sweating it 🙂 

Post # 4
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I did not wait to have sex before my wedding night but I was previously engaged and planned to wait until our wedding night because it was important to my then fiance. So while I never went through the first time wedding night thing, I do know how you are feeling right now in anticipation of the night.

Keep in mind that you are both equally inexperienced so your fiance is not going to judge you for anything and is not going to have anything to compare you to. I know it’s scary to have someone see you naked for the first time, but he’s just going to be so glad he’s seeing you naked! Guys don’t judge girls bodies the way we judge our own. I wouldn’t worry about sexy lingerie unless you feel it will get you in the mood because I think it has a tendency to sort of put you on display, which might make you uncomfortable the first time.

I also wouldn’t worry about music, candles, etc because those things just kind of add to the pressure of the whole “first time” thing. You want to just feel comfortable together. As far as lights on or lights off, do whatever feels right, but if dim lights are an option, that’s the way to go. Guys like to see what’s going on, but it’s nicer not to have really bright lights. And yes, for your first time definitely, definitely use lube. It will probably hurt at first. The key is for your fiance to go get you really warmed up beforehand (if you know what I mean) and to go slow at first until you feel comfortable.

Also, it will obviously be a wonderful, memorable experience but don’t be disappointed if the sex isn’t mindblowing. I had a friend who waited until her wedding night (it was his first time too). Apparently he lasted about thirty seconds (guys aren’t very good at holding off their first time). You have your whole lives to get good at having sex; it doesn’t have to be perfect the first time.

Post # 5
10588 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I waited for sex on our wedding night, but we had been intimate in other ways for a long time beforehand.  Personally, I think I would have had a very difficult time going from just kissing to intercourse.  I would recommend just doing what you feel comfortable with on your wedding night.  Get to know each other’s bodies.  If you do decide to have sex that night, the foreplay will probably be the most physically pleasurable, not the sex itself.

Post # 6
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

For your first time, I would keep it simple and take your time.  You might not be in the mood or have enough time to have sex on your wedding night and that’s okay.  I would rather good around together naked and have some fun than try to rush through sex when you are tired/drunk/etc and have it be a sucky night.

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