(Closed) Those who are married..advise: what u 4got, wish u did…

posted 7 years ago in Recaps
Post # 4
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Whether it’s a wedding planner, DOC or just a really organized friend/cousin/whatever, make sure there is a person who is handling the last minute stuff for you.  You are going to be way too busy to discuss placecards, guest books, where is the cake, etc.

If you are doing a first look, plan it.  Make sure you know the exact spot, time, whatever.  I kind of “winged it” and it was disappointing both emotionally and photgraphically

“Visit” your flowers the day before.  Someone else recommended this and while I stopped at the florist, I didn’t insist on seeing how all my flowers were going to be put together.  They were the types of flowers I wanted, but were arranged completely wrong.

Post # 5
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Make sure your bustle is secure!

Post # 6
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If you are wearing a veil, remember to tell your Maid/Matron of Honor to check it to make sure it lays flat after it is lifted so your photos won’t look funny from the back. 

It’s also good to have an emergency kit.

Post # 8
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Make sure the photog has the shot list, I don’t think mine bought it with her and a few shots were forgoten like one of us wearing our rings.

Have someone practice your bustle and practice again. Actually have the seamtress show two people. My AUnt practiced but she had trouble the day of and I lost 20 minutes while the thing was being fiddled with.

Make sure fragile stuff is packed correctly, one of my toasting glasses broke before the wedding. I was in tears when I was told about it right before we were annouced.


Post # 9
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

The best advice I got was:  Pick what you like, and move on.  (I couldn’t make decisions to save the life of me!)

Looking back:  I wish I was more detailed in photos I wanted – for instance, I was busy doing couple and family pictures with my family post-ceremony and no one took a picture of my place card table!!  ๐Ÿ™ ๐Ÿ™  I also wish I had more pictures of flowers, table settings – stuff like that.  I assumed my photographer would just do that – I kept emphasizing to her my desire for people shots and I never told her I wanted those detail shots.

Have a person dedicated to fixing your makeup and keeping supplies handy!  I started tearing up during the ceremony and used a kleenex to dab my eyes a few time.  Well, that caused my fake lashes to start to come apart and I had this black spot in the corner of my eye the whole night.  Something that you can only really notice super close up – but THANKFULLY a lash-wearing friend had extra glue and was able to patch me up (vs. me taking off the lashes pre-reception).

Take a second pair of shoes.  I was so happy to change into similar height, but comfy heels 1/2 way through the reception!  My feet thanked me and I was able to run around like brand new.

Give someone your personal camera to take pictures – I loved having my camera at the end of the day and scrolling through pictures people took.  The camera was passed around to several people and ended up back with me by the end of the night.  I loved that!  Instant wedding gratification – especially of moments I didn’t witness (because we were taking pictures, etc.)

If you don’t have a coordinator or DOC – have one person that knows EVERYTHING – and then make sure all your vendors know to talk to that person if they have questions.  That person would also be a good one to oversee that everything ‘looks right’.  

Shrug it off when things go wrong – something WILL not go to plan and it’s not the end of the world.

Don’t give yourself any jobs on the day of the wedding (other than getting ready!).

Ok – I realize those are a bunch of “happy I did” vs. “wish I did” – but I hope they are helpful!

….here’s one more:

I wish I would have taken more time at the top of the aisle before I walked down.  I remember pausing and then freaking out thinking I was taking too long.  But I really wish I would have just stood and lingered there for a little while longer.  In the video, you can’t even tell I paused –  it felt MUCH longer to me in the moment.




Post # 10
1129 posts
Bumble bee

Make sure you have a photo list and have another person experienced with weddings look at it with you.  I’m sad that many shots were missed on our day.  I originally had a photo list but my laptop died less than 48 hours ahead as I was printing everything out – the shot list is one of the things that didn’t make it.  I also wrote in my recap to be sure to back up all your wedding files for this very reason.

If taking photos with your family is important AND you are doing this pre-wedding, make sure they understand that 100% – attendance is not optional.  We have very few family photos from our wedding out of the nearly thousand that were taken that day.  A lot of people really let us down when it came to pictures – and I do believe part of it was that we were married on a Friday and they chose not to make it a priority to take the day off work.  I have not a single photo of either of my brothers because they couldn’t be bothered to arrive on time.  They both showed up to the wedding but at that point, it was reception time (we took all photos ahead and did a first look) so they were the least of my concern.  There are no pics of my hubby’s dad because he actually showed up late enough that we delayed the ceremony time for him.  I look through our pics and cringe to think of how many shots were missed because people didn’t care enough to be there.

Have a DOC.  I actually had no intention of having one at all.  A good friend of mine finally said to me a few months before ‘Please, just let me do this for you.’  Thank goodness I said yes – she was the absolute SAVING GRACE that day and is the only reason I was carefree and happy.  She fixed everything that went badly or kept it from me so I didn’t have to stress.

And yes, I’m a big proponent of the first look.  We spent the night before apart (him with his boys, my with my girls) so we didn’t speak or see each other until that moment.  Afterward we ended up hanging out all afternoon ahead of our evening wedding and those moments (and those right after with just the wedding party, doing a private toast/drink while we signed the certificate) are some of the highlights of my memories.  ๐Ÿ™‚



Post # 11
1129 posts
Bumble bee

Speaking of recaps, I wanted to mention that you might want to go to the recap board and read through some of them.  I know I gave a lot of ‘I wish I had known’ type advice when I wrote mine.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I forgot to put my garter on!  Ha! 

I suggest having everything in boxes/totes and labeled ready to go the day before the rehearsal.  I found that the rehearsal day was insanely rushed and one of the worst days of my life.  So pretend Thursday is your rehearsal day! 

One thing I really loved on my wedding day was getting my hair done alone.  No mom, no BMs, no phone, no one but me and the stylist.  It was so relaxing.

Post # 13
1129 posts
Bumble bee

@soonerpsych: Amen to having everything packed up ahead of time – my rehearsal was a total CF and also probably the worst day of all the planning.

I had all my decor, etc in clear plastic tubs or boxes.  They were labeled on the outside with which room at the venue they went to, what was in them, etc.  When you opened them, there were specific directions as to how each item was to be set up and even photos of the style/design.  One of my Bridesmaid or Best Man mentioned it being overkill – but my DOC said the day of, it was the biggest help ever.

For example, my centerpieces were the only candles in the place that weren’t battery operated.  They were to sit in sugar (used in lieu of sand, SO much cheaper!) and be lit for the reception.  I bagged the sugar, bagged the candles, had a lighter and directions in a ziploc.  No running around for a lighter for them!  Made things much easier.  The parts of the night that didn’t go well were the things I didn’t take the time to do this for.

Post # 14
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I will be sharing some of this in my recaps, but I will share some here too!

-I only packed enough centerpieces for EXACTLY the number of tables we had.  Carrying a box into the reception, my sister dropped it, and shattered 14 of them. 

-We forgot to unpack the $80 engraved toasting flutes.  Beautiful, but still in the box.

-We didn’t do a garter toss or bouquet toss.  Totally forgot.

-Forgot to verify with DJ about our first dance song.  He didn’t have it.  LOL.  We just picked another one, and all as well. 

-Our coordinator didn’t verify that the table skirts actually fit the damn tables.  Day of, no skirts fit, and the linen place was closed for the holiday.

Post # 15
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Linz1231: so did you just not have any centerpieces? That is a bummer!

I forgot to give my photographer a shot list and there were a few key photos I wanted but didnt get.

I gave our DJ a CD of our special songs because I had a bad feeling about him and he actually did forget all the songs so it was a good thing I had them.

I wish I had fewer bridesmaids or none at all – it was too much drama and not worth it to me.

Make sure you tell whoever is decorating your reception (if not yourself) EXACTLY how to do things or it will not end up the way you imagined.

Post # 16
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@christalynn11: Sugar, brilliant!

@PitBulLover: I made diagrams of the reception tables and lists of all the items for each table since my BMs were decorating.  It was a big help to both myself and them.

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